I wore a dress and didn't die

It really isn't a secret that I have body issues. They started when I was young and have progressively gotten worse. Though there was a beautiful moment in time when I felt amazingly beautiful and that was when I was pregnant. Sure not all pregnant women feel that way and sure toward the end I did feel a bit like a beached whale but I was so proud to be growing a little human being inside me that I didn't care about the stretch marks or the cellulite. 

After Kyra was born however the body issues came flooding back when I had 30 pounds of baby weight and only a 6 pound baby. I continued to feel worse and worse when I saw all these posts and pictures of moms that bounced back after giving birth. I didn't bounce back at all...not like the fit moms of blog-land or the superstars on magazine covers. In fact the body I came home with didn't seem like my body at all. In fact I didn't even recognize this body. Having a baby changes everything. Including where you gain weight and how you carry it apparently. 

So new issues arose, I got sad and frustrated, and so I hid. I hid in baggy pants and big shirts. I hid in jeans even when it was almost 100 degrees outside. Dresses and shorts? Those things were for skinny girls and fit moms. I didn't belong in those things. 

But lately there has been a shift. I'm not any thinner (not according to the scale, my mirror, or the camera anyhow) but I feel different. I am just...done. I am so over hating my body every minute. I'm tired of wasting my time worrying about things that just aren't worth worrying about. I am sick of sweating my butt off every summer in fear that someone might see my fat. 

This summer I have worn shorts, I have worn tank tops, and finally on Saturday I wore a dress. It was so humid and I desperately wanted to look nice but still be comfortable. The dress had been hanging in my closet for months and finally I was just like, "quit being a baby and just put it on...just see!" So I put it on. It fit. I looked nice. It wasn't billowy or super loose and it actually wasn't black. 

I wore the dress and I didn't die of shame. In fact...I felt pretty awesome. 
Not the best picture but the only one I snapped.

7 comments:

  1. You look great in that dress (which I really like BTW!). I'm sorry you don't feel great about your body and I hear you about pregnancy changing how your body carries weight (and feeling like it's impossible to lose the baby weight). Congrats on the mind shift and you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks about you or your body!

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  2. You look awesome in the dress! Feeling self conscious about your body is the worst feeling. I felt that way for a long time and I think just in the past couple of years I've started to feel better. For me I think it was just getting older and realizing I didn't care what everyone else thought. It is so liberating, and I'm happy you're feeling better about your body too!

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  3. You look great in the dress girlie!! I didnt like dresses either but honestly once you learn to embrace you and wear dresses that suit you, it works. Love your look. And the colour is everything :)

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  4. I am a dress ho, I wear them all the time. I'm glad you wore it and felt good in it!

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  5. Oh my goodness, Kimmi...I think that dress is super cute and you look great! The print is really flattering too. I hear you on the body issues. It's winter here, so I'm hiding in leggings with oversized sweaters.

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  6. MOAR DRESSES!! ALL THE DRESSES!!! It's super cute!
    Once I figured out that I need empire waists and not normal waists, my life was changed. Normal waists make me look pregnant. Empire waists make me look like I have big boobs and a waist (both true). Also, it meant that I could show off my sexy ankles. Honestly they probably aren't all that sexy, but I do think I have nice feet, which is a nice redirect when I'm feeling all the body-shame. I have nice feet, I'll show people! :)

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  7. You look awesome! Love the hair, too!

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