I long for the old days

Recently a friend said that she missed the way that blogging used to be and that micro blogging was getting tiresome and people want to read more...or at least some of us do.

And that got me thinking....

I DEFINITELY miss the old days.

I miss Google Reader daily. I remember when I worked an office job and sat at a computer all day and I'd come in half an hour early to sit and catch up on all the blogs I followed. I loved just being able to scroll down and see everyone's posts without ads or frills or nonsense.

I miss the pointless awards and how excited we would get about them.

I miss linkups (though there is still an AMAZING monthly book linkup that I participate in when I remember and you should check it out.)

I miss the friends I made.

I miss funny quips and quotes and inside jokes that were formed.

I miss the stories.

That's what I really miss the most. I miss the stories. I miss how people told me about their lives in little narratives and snippets. Not such quick snaps that make you feel like a failure at life and that you are the only one that doesn't have it together....but actual tales from the deep. The hard parts of life, parenting, dieting, working, searching for love....the real stories behind people as they lived their lives.

I mean sure it wasn't perfect....but there also wasn't the pressure to BE perfect all the time. You didn't have to be "on" you set up your little blogging schedule and you showed up and told your little bit and hit publish. Instantly you were live and out in the void and people could see what you wrote. They could interact with you if they chose to and lots of times they would.

I realize this makes me sound like an old person idolizing the times gone by but whatever. It was just a better and simpler time of social media....and yes I miss it.

So maybe we should bring it back. Let's bring back actual blogging and real stories and real life....and maybe it'll be a combination of both...the old and the new....and it will be something even better.

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Back to Blogging....And Some Changes?

I've missed blogging but I feel like the only thing I talk about is my kids.

Can I talk about just my kids?

I've missed blogging but I feel like no one cares.

Can I still come here and talk even though no one is going to read it?

I've missed blogging but what can I add to the conversation that isn't already out there?

Can I write even if my words aren't revolutionary?

So yeah that's what's been going on in my head this past month. I want to come back to this space. So much so that I even updated the look of the blog on the down low just to see if that sparked something in me....and maybe to see if anyone else was out there reading. I feel the need to connect to someone out there outside of the mom bubble I've been living in but honestly.....all I do is mom stuff. It's an endless wheel at the moment and I had forgotten just how hard it is to have a new baby in the house. Kyra has been pretty self sufficient for a while now and I forgot what it was like to have someone depend on you for literally there EVERY NEED. It's a tough job and an all consuming one at times.

Then Kyra started school and that comes with a whole new set of changes and challenges.

Then everyone that I have in my support system is working. Literally all of them. All the time. Everyone is busy every.single.day. So I'm on my own with just one or both of the kids for nearly 12 hours a day. Every day. I'm in bed by 8:30 pm. I'm a night owl this is freakish for me. But if I want to be able to get up and function at 5 am after being up at least 3 times during the night with the baby and to pump then I have to. Then Kyra goes to school and it's just me and Ty and I take care of chores and work and blah blah blah and then it is 3 pm and Kyra is home and I'm busy with her after school stuff and then it's dinner time and boom....8:30 again. Endless wheel.

So I'm coming here. Back to writing. Back to blogging. Back to something that feels like me. Something that is just mine.

That being said it's going to be different because I am different. I've changed and so the blog must change along with me.

So I'm sending this out into the void. I have no idea if anyone reads here anymore but that's okay. I just need my words to go somewhere. I just need them out of my head so they can stop tumbling around in there all day on repeat. So out into the void I whisper.....is this thing on?

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Hello Everyone!

Today Kyra and I are going to be carving pumpkins, watching silly movies, and eating WAY more candy than we probably should. Normal blogging will resume tomorrow!


Have a safe and Happy Halloween!

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I miss blogging.

I've been writing but not blogging.

My way of dealing with things but I miss blogging. I miss coming to this space.

However I'm not sure what to write about yet.

It seems strange to just dive back into normal blog posts.

I've changed a lot in the past three weeks. Yes...three weeks to the day. I wonder when I will stop counting the days....

Anyhow I want to come back to blogging. I want to come back to the space where I felt happy and ready to write. I miss linkups and comments and reading other blogs.

So this is my first small step into getting back into things again. I'm not saying things are going to be the same around here, in fact I can promise you that they won't. I'm going to be taking on some new topics and the basic thing is...I'm not the same anymore. For better or worse I'm changed.

Anyhow I'm going to keep this one short, just know I'm back to reading blogs and writing blogs again...and I'm glad.

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Confessions 10/14

Good Morning Everyone,

Time for some confessions....


I confess that I am currently hiding in my bedroom because tonight is Bobby's game night. Normally the guys all game at my in laws but tonight the game got moved. Now this might not have been an issue but Tuesdays are my nights to write and do beauty routines. Meaning they all came over and I have coconut oil in my hair, a face mask, and I generally look like a crazy person.

I confess that I've wasted a ridiculous amount of time on the You Cam App. Have you tried this thing? It adds makeup and junk to your face and sometimes it turns out really pretty and sometimes it is just hilarious. Bobby wouldn't let me post his pictures but let me tell you it was hilarious. Honestly I thought mine turned out awesome especially since I was completely makeup free otherwise!

I legit have no makeup on in this photo. This is just what the app did.

I confess that I have been really trying to figure out the whole "work from home" bit lately. I want to be able to contribute to our bills while still being a good mommy and wife. It's a tough gig. There are lots of scams, lots of hoops to jump through....honestly it is just really frustrating trying to be helpful and just finding brick wall after brick wall.

I confess that I really hoped....I hoped a lot when I was starting out back in 2003... that blogging/writing would be my full time thing. I so wanted to be one of those professional bloggers that had brilliant and viral posts. I wanted to write things that people loved reading....but now I worry that doing so means "selling out". I hate blogs that are so covered in ads that I can't even scroll through the content. I don't want to be an ad only based blogger...even if I could use the money. 

I confess that I sigh inwardly when I see glossy white backgrounds with perfectly staged items. Not because I resent those bloggers but because my life isn't the kind of life with perfect white backgrounds. This blog has Chaos in the title for a reason. I have to fight for every moment I get to write now that I'm a Stay at Home Mom. I thought (naively!) that once I was home I would have MORE time to write. Instead I have so much less. I used to write during my mid morning break or even during my lunch hour....now I don't get those things. Most of my writing is now done in the dark well after bedtime. 

I confess that despite the above confessions...I still really love blogging. I love reading blogs and seeing other people's lives and opinions. I love the linkups that let me share things that I love and give me knew things to try out and explore. I still hope that someday....this will not only be something I love but something that loves me back. 

Happy Humpday Everyone. 

Be sure to join the linkup and share your confessions!

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Thursday Thoughts: October Goals 2015

Good Morning Everyone, 

Happy October 1st! 

This year really is flying by but honestly I love the fall so I am very happy that we have arrived at this time of the year! 

Since it is a new month and since I've been needing to make some changes I decided that today I would share my monthly goals with you all. 

1) Make time for myself- This one is pretty big. If you read my confession post yesterday you probably know that I've been struggling with Mommy Guilt and feeling pretty bad about asking for any kind of help. However I know that it is in the best interest of my family and myself to start making a little time for just me. My mom offered to take Kyra a couple times a week so that I could go and workout for an hour and start getting her used to the idea that I don't have to be with her 24/7. 

2) Step up the blogging game- I felt like I slacked of in September a lot. I really didn't post that often and when I did they were just mostly fluff posts. So this month I am going to try and really put out some good content and blog everyday Monday through Friday this month. I hope to get one or two weekend posts up as well. 

3) Make a "big" goal list- I feel like I need to refocus on the things that I really want in life. Everyone needs to have a goal that they are working toward and I really feel like I need to figure out just what it is that I want and start making steps toward achieving those things. 

4) Make Meal Planning a priority- Budgeting is something that I am still learning but I know for a fact that meal planning makes all the difference in our budget and in my daily stress level. If I have a plan for dinner it feels like the rest of the day falls into place. 

5) Write- Write, Write, and Write some more. I felt like last month I was pretty much shut down in the creative/writing department. I need to get things moving again in my brain. I need that creative outlet. Even if what I write is never seen, even if it is pretty much crap, it won't matter. Any word written is better than the one not written. 

So there you have my goals for the month. Do you have any goals for the month? Is there something in particular that you are excited about taking on? Let me know in the comments!

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More Blogging Confessions

Good Morning Everyone,

Today I'm going to do some more Blogging Confessions. Specifically things that irritate me about blogging and blogs in general. 

Here we go:

-I confess I hate blogging giveaways where you have to follow about ninety blogs to enter. One to three is fine but honestly....ten to twenty is just not worth my time. Seriously even for free stuff.

-Speaking of my feed. I LOATHE Bloglovin's sponsored posts popping up in the middle of my feed. I get it they need to make money blah blah blah but I hate it. I am aware of UGG boots. Seriously have been aware of them since 2009....I don't need an ad for them in my feed. Stop it. 

-I confess I love comments. I love to leave comments. But I really dislike Disqus comments sections. It never logs me in correctly. It always acts up and screws up my post. It's to the point that if I see you have one...I'm probably just gonna skip the comments.

- I confess it makes me so sad that there is no more Google Reader. I loved Google Reader. I only use Bloglovin because it was an easy transition. I don't like it though. It always screws up and isn't really user friendly in my opinion. Plus they play favorites with their "suggestions".

- I confess that Google Plus is stupid. Even YouTube knows this. Give it up. It's never going to happen.

-I confess that I get really sad when a blog goes full on sponsored. I started following you because I wanted to know about you. I wanted to know your story or I thought you were funny, or you were just plain informative. However when every post is suddenly sponsored...when you are pushing product...when you are constantly selling ad space...I stop following.Why did you do this? I know we all wanna make a buck but seriously? EVERY POST?

-I confess I don't like lack of closure when I blog just goes dark. Where did you go? Are you okay? Did something bad happen? I need something! I worry about those blogs that suddenly disappear and wonder about the people behind them....In my twelve years of blogging this has happened a lot. It always breaks my heart.

So what are some your blogging irritations?

Happy Humpday Everyone. Be sure to Linkup!

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Confessions 6/24- A little perspective

Morning Everyone,

I confess that I kinda took a week off from blogging. It wasn't planned or anything. I just stopped posting last week. I think I needed a little time to re-evaluate. 

I confess that part of the sudden break was that I had gotten my feelings hurt over not being included in the blogging "it" crowd. Ah well I was never in the cool crowd in high school either. 

I confess that I had made a post that I worked really hard on...I put so much of my heart in to it...and it flopped. I was a little heartbroken about it....

I confess that it also hurts that my most popular posts are pretty generic run of the mill stuff....stuff I put together without much thought or time...yet they have thousands of hits while things I really cared about go basically unnoticed. 

I also confess that taking the time off let me really start to think about what I want from this blog. Things I want to post about. Things I want to write about....and where I want this to go. 

I confess that once I stopped to think about it I realized that I just want this to be a place for me to share things with you all. It might be tips, it might be recipes, it might just be what I did that day. 

I confess that I'm done expecting this to be anything more than a sounding board for my own thoughts. I'm done waiting for THE post to break through. 

I confess that I'm ready to just be happy with what I have and to just write because I love it. 

Happy Humpday Everyone...Be sure to join the linkup. 

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Confessions: Blogger Edition

Good Morning Everyone,

It's Confession Time!

1) I confess that I that when I find a new blog that I like I become like a creepy blog stalker. Seriously, I will dig through all the archives and binge on the new blog as much as possible in order to get to know the blogger and basically read their life story like a book.  Yep I'm a creeper.

2) I confess that blog design is SO STRESSFUL. Seriously I see blogs get new fancy designs and then I start worrying that my blog doesn't look awesome enough. Then I start shopping blog designers only to be like "No this is too expensive, I know code, I will just do it myself" which always ends up with me yelling at the computer for an hour. 

3) Blogging is a community. That being said it can also be a lot like high school. You wanna fit in, you wanna make friends...but sometimes you are just the weird kid and find out that even though you put a lot of time into your blog and energy....you just aren't one of the popular kids. Some blogs will become popular like....overnight....and then some of us just hang out here with a small following and wonder why it is that we aren't the "Cool" blog. I try to not let it bother me but you know...sometimes you just wanna be liked.

4) I confess that I get SO EXCITED every time someone comments. Seriously I bounce around a do a little happy dance. Someone out there is reading!! Someone liked my post!!!

5) I confess that sometimes I think I have replied to a comment when in reality I have only replied in my head and forget to reply all together. This happens more than I care to admit. So if I respond to a comment like five days later...please know I mentally responded right after you sent it!

6) I confess to using bloggers names as though they are friends I just had coffee with and being offended when no one knows who I am talking about. 

Example: 

Me:  Well Steph, Kay and Megan said this book was a really great read so I need to put it on hold.

Husband: Who? 

Me: The Blogging Girls

Husband: Oh....Internet Strangers...I see. 

Me:

That's it for me today! Happy Wednesday Everyone! Be sure to linkup with your own confessions!!!

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28 Posts in 28 Days

Good Afternoon Everyone,

I know this is rather confusing as  I never post on a Sunday! 

I do have a reason however as I am embarking on a new challenge for myself....28 posts in 28 days for the month of February. 

Now I realize this might reveal a little of my crazy but it kind of irritates me that I look over at my monthly blog list and see that I have only completed X amount of days in a month. I hate that it never has a blog post for each day....I am not sure why it bothers me but it does. However as any blogger will tell you it can be a very daunting task to attempt to blog EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. That is a lot of content to come up with and it takes a lot of time to get the words out some days. 

But for some crazy reason I really want to make a post every day this month. It is the shortest month of the year though. 

Anyhow I will be here with a post every single day and have actually sat down and planned most of the posts for the month out already! I think it is going to be a lot of fun and I really can't wait to see the month of February filled with posts! 

Happy Sunday Everyone!

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M.I.A.

Morning Everyone,

So basically it has been forever since I blogged.

Part of the reason it has been so long is just that I have not really felt like it. Honestly I feel like blogging in general is taking a plunge. I mean I love the writing part. I love reading hilarious stories, experiences, and cheering everyone on as they attempt new adventures but lately I haven't felt like that is what I am seeing on the blogs.

Lately all I see are sponsored posts and giveaways. I mean I am all for making money on your blog. I would love to have the extra source of income myself but honestly you have to remember what made your blog something people wanted to read in the first place. CONTENT. I know I write some fluff posts around here but I'd like to think that even posts that are just a "what's happening now" are better posts than "Here are people who pay me to say their name!" or "Buy this because they gave it to me for free!"

I dunno, I'm just not getting much out of the "community" anymore.

Okay off my soapbox now.

The other reason I have not been on the blog is that I have been busy re doing my house. It has been a big overhaul. The spare bedroom has been transformed into a nursery and our bedroom has been completely redone. Also I cleared out our closet and the basement. Though now the basement needs to be done again because all the spare bedroom stuff was moved down there.

I am so happy to have a nursery, it is wonderful to take Kyra in there to play with her toys and crawl around without having to worry about what she will get into! She enjoys it a lot and has even slept in there a few nights! It has been very nice for my husband and I to reclaim our bedroom as well. It is all grown up in there now! I feel like an adult! (hahaha)

I will post some pictures here in the future, I was going to do so with this post but my camera battery is dead and the iPad and iTouch will not do the rooms justice! So pictures will go up, but they might just be on like Facebook or something....although I am sick of Facebook....also everyone is on Instagram now it seems and I just....eh I'm not into that one either. I fail at social media.....if it is not Pinterest or Reddit then I am just not interested. Also, I don't have time for it or the means, most of you post on Instagram with your fancy phones, I have a phone that is from years ago and is really like one of the first camera phones made....sad.

Okay now that I have gone on a little ramble it's time to go, I have chores to do before Kyra is up and ready to play again.

Hugs to you all, hopefully I will be back tomorrow but then again....this blog may be drawing to a close soon...keep you all posted.

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