Things I believe this week

 I need to work on my self care more. Yesterday I spent the day on the couch with a heating pad due to a pulled muscle in my back. I keep telling myself I need to get in a massage to take care of the stress I am carrying around in my back but I also keep putting it off. 

Mani/Pedi should start becoming a more important part of my weekly routines. My toes look fine but my fingernails are a hot mess. 


I need to get over my body issues. Looking at pictures from high school was a huge awakening. I wasted SO MUCH TIME convinced that I was ugly and fat and gross in high school and I look like a perfectly normal teen. I spend so much time hating my body and I need to get over it and let it go. 


Face Masks are my skin's saving grace. I had posted about getting the Peter Thomas Roth masks at Sephora and I am honestly in love. Actually I might do an entire post on them! 


That taking a day off to heal is not a weakness nor is it laziness. If you get hurt you need to take it easy and heal. There is no shame in that. 


Time spent snuggled up reading the same book over and over again with Kyra is never time wasted. 

Her current favorite book.

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I wore a dress and didn't die

It really isn't a secret that I have body issues. They started when I was young and have progressively gotten worse. Though there was a beautiful moment in time when I felt amazingly beautiful and that was when I was pregnant. Sure not all pregnant women feel that way and sure toward the end I did feel a bit like a beached whale but I was so proud to be growing a little human being inside me that I didn't care about the stretch marks or the cellulite. 

After Kyra was born however the body issues came flooding back when I had 30 pounds of baby weight and only a 6 pound baby. I continued to feel worse and worse when I saw all these posts and pictures of moms that bounced back after giving birth. I didn't bounce back at all...not like the fit moms of blog-land or the superstars on magazine covers. In fact the body I came home with didn't seem like my body at all. In fact I didn't even recognize this body. Having a baby changes everything. Including where you gain weight and how you carry it apparently. 

So new issues arose, I got sad and frustrated, and so I hid. I hid in baggy pants and big shirts. I hid in jeans even when it was almost 100 degrees outside. Dresses and shorts? Those things were for skinny girls and fit moms. I didn't belong in those things. 

But lately there has been a shift. I'm not any thinner (not according to the scale, my mirror, or the camera anyhow) but I feel different. I am just...done. I am so over hating my body every minute. I'm tired of wasting my time worrying about things that just aren't worth worrying about. I am sick of sweating my butt off every summer in fear that someone might see my fat. 

This summer I have worn shorts, I have worn tank tops, and finally on Saturday I wore a dress. It was so humid and I desperately wanted to look nice but still be comfortable. The dress had been hanging in my closet for months and finally I was just like, "quit being a baby and just put it on...just see!" So I put it on. It fit. I looked nice. It wasn't billowy or super loose and it actually wasn't black. 

I wore the dress and I didn't die of shame. In fact...I felt pretty awesome. 

Not the best picture but the only one I snapped.

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