Good Morning!
It's Monday morning and if you are anything like me you need a little motivation to help you get going for this new week. Whether you are back at the daily grind, or like me are trying to start a new routine, everyone could use a little push to get them going. Today's motivation comes to you as always from Pinterest:
This little motivational beauty ties in nicely with what is going on with me currently.
You see I weighed myself last week in the traditional Day 1 weigh in.
I am not going to put the number I saw up here on the blog. I just can't right now. But I cried.
I realize I just had a baby three months ago and that drastically changed my body in ways that I could never have imagined, but that fact did not change the way that I felt about myself when I saw the number. It hurt so bad to see all the ground I had lost from when I was losing weight before the wedding. I was so hurt and angry with myself. I still am.
Now that feeling is still something I had to work on but something else happened too.
After I weighed myself that morning and was miserable. I weighed myself again. And again. And again. I weighed after everything I did that day. All in all I think I stepped on the damn scale eight times that day. Then the same thing happened the next day....and the one after. Honestly that scale saw more of me last week than it did the entire length of last year.
I was OBSESSED, not good.
Each time I stepped on it (and weight fluctuates during the day) I felt more and more miserable. I hated myself. I hated my body. I thought horrible things about myself, tearing myself apart bit by bit.
I was so angry.
This morning the process started again. I didn't weigh in over the weekend because I was at my parents' and they do not have a scale. So first thing this morning I stepped on that sucker and felt my heart sink once again. Then I thought...ENOUGH.
I cannot go on like this. It's just a damn number! I am more than a number. That number does not equal my value in this world and it certainly does not define my body and the fact that it makes me ashamed of my body....that is not okay.
This body has carried me through 28 years. It has housed a life and given birth to the most amazing miracle in the world. It has been broken and healed. I have asked it to do so many things and it has always risen to the challenge. That number does not make all of those things null and void.
So the scale is going away. It is going away until the end of October. October is when I hope to have hit my goal of losing twenty pounds, but I am hoping that before I ever hop on the scale I will see significant differences in how I feel and how my clothes fit....after all looking and feeling good are what really matter. No one in the world ever has to know what that scale says, if you look good and feel good, that is what really matters. After all, I am not doing this for anyone but myself.
So no more being at war with myself. No more punishing myself for what has already happened. All I can do is take steps to change it from this moment forward.
This is the only body I am going to get, I pledge to start taking better care of it....and I will never ever again be ashamed of it.
0 comments:
Post a Comment