Wednesday Blog Hop~ The FF

Good Morning Everyone,


It's Wednesday and that means blog hop day!

To all you old hands at this welcome back and to those that are just joining us welcome!


I was a good girl today and clicked through a lot of the blogs in the hop and started following some more and plan to follow even more of you but if I plan on getting this post up I need to stop reading and start writing. Kyra is happily sitting in her high chair eating a piece of string cheese so I have like....five minutes to get this post up and running before she is ready to go again.


So today I'm gonna talk about something uncomfortable.

Being the Fat Friend (FF).

This is not a topic I like to talk about. Actually it is something I hate talking about. Yet somehow it is the topic I find comes up in my mind almost every few moments and thus ends up being something that I write about a lot.

I've been the fat friend for I have no idea how long....maybe always.

Don't pretend you don't know what the fat friend is. All girls do and guys are very aware. In fact guys now call the fat friend the "grenade" I believe that they jump on so their buddy can get the "hot" friend. Thanks for that one....as if we didn't feel bad enough....

Anyhow being the fat friend usually goes something like this.....

Skinny friend: I wanna go out! Let's go to the bar/club and hang out! Meet me at my place at 8!

FF: Um....okay.....I don't really have anything to wear....

Skinny friend: Oh come on! Just put on anything! You look fine!

FF: *sigh* Yeah....

FF arrives at SF's house where an entire flock of them are putting on makeup and slipping into dresses impossibly short and slinky. FF has the nicest top that does not hug anything it is not supposed to and jeans. Self esteem rapidly decreasing as the others look hot and are already half tipsy and giggling. FF smiles and tries to join in or they will ask her what is wrong and she would rather die than admit to it. However in that moment she could not feel more horrible or awful. Why can't I look like these girls? What is wrong with me.....don't I have any self control? If I just worked harder I wouldn't have to go through this every single time....


This same thing happens while shopping. Skinny Friend/s are picking out everything that is cute in the store and having no trouble getting into the outfits. They are actually complaining about having TOO MANY choices. While Fat Friend is over on the sidelines with the choice of looking like either a leopard or a zebra, because the fashion industry for some reason thinks that if you put animal print on a fat girl she will blend into the background....or worse case scenario they want to mark you as an animal and not worth human notice....that might be a little cynical though.

The point is I've been through these types of scenarios my whole life. I've cried in bathrooms and changing stalls. I've watched my friends get hit on and been ignored. (though happily I've been with my high school sweetheart all these years so that didn't sting as badly) I have wished so badly to be able to wear the cute clothes and just feel....normal.

So why is this coming up now? Well there is a vacation in my future and I'm not going to be the Fat Friend anymore. I just refuse to be. I have a few months before we go and that is enough time to really work hard and get myself in gear, because I do not want another event where I am unable to enjoy myself because of my weight.

It's going to be hard, and it is going to be a struggle. Also I'm going to need some real support....because I know it's going to be rough going for a bit...but I can do it. I've done it before....I'll do it again.


Big hugs to all that read this and I hope that you might consider following me on my journey.

~Kimmy 

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Thursday Thoughts- The Motherhood

Good Morning all,


Yes this post is getting up a lot later than I would like but honestly after the morning I have had....ugh.


Anyhow as I was reading the blogs I ran across Mama Laughlin's post on her transition from working mom to SAHM and I fell in love with her statement. Being a mom is hard. Working mom, SAHM, adoptive mom....being a mother is hard.

My little darling is only 9 months old but in those 9 months and the 38 weeks it took to grow her, I became a different person. I am still me, but I am changed.

I never dreamed I could love a little human being so much. I never knew I would care so deeply about someone or that I would utterly forget myself at times.

When Kyra came along I had had every intention of returning to work....but after 12 weeks of maternity leave, three ten hour days back at the job, crying when I dropped her off at my parents and texting my dad eleventy billion times an hour.....I realized that it was not for me. I was sick, miserable, and I missed my baby. Also I was not working a job that I particularly loved. I loved my co workers but I did not love the job itself. So I made the decision that I was going to stay home with my baby.

It was hard. Our budget was cut in half. I had/have no money to just go blow on whatever I want. There are weeks that I never leave my house. There are days that I don't get to have an actual conversation with an adult, either because there isn't one around or because I can't have one without being interrupted. I never mind the interruptions but not everyone feels the same way.

I realize a lot of people think that I just sit around all day. To which I say, come stay with me a day and then tell me how you feel. Then I say, "Why are you judging me? What is wrong with my decision? It in no way effects you...."

You see I think being a mom is something pretty amazing. Not just because you have a little person in your life that you love more than you ever thought possible, but because it transforms you. Suddenly you are capable of so much. You run the house, you take care of this little life, you might be a wife, worker, you are still someone's daughter or sister. You have to think of a million little things in advance but still manage to forget where you put your keys....

It's a tough job and one that not every woman gets the opportunity to enjoy.

So why are moms so mean to other moms?

I'm not sure why the judgement happens. I personally cannot judge. I see a working mom and think, "Man she is amazing. How does she do it? Work so hard and still come home and smile and play with her babies when you know she is bone tired?"

I see a SAHM and think "My gosh she's got everyone dressed and out today! Rock on Mama! How does she do it with three kids?! I have one and still managed to forget something...."

I never judge if a mom has a messy house. I know because mine is constantly in a state of transition.

I never judge if a mom picking up her kids from a daycare, she's supporting her family and this is probably the best part of her day, picking them up and seeing them all happy to see her.

My heart hurts for the moms that have no choice and leave their babies every day to work when they, like me, would rather be at home.

I don't know why moms are so mean to each other. Why are we judging one another? We are all just trying to do the very best for our children. Why not support one another?

So I will put this out there, if you are a needing some support, if you are a working mom or a SAHM and need someone to talk to, I'm here, message me any time. I will not judge you, being a mom is hard, no matter which way you look at it....and no one but other moms understand it. We are in this together ladies!

Big hugs from me, and a little laugh for you in the video!

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