It's been a while....

It's been a long while since I posted on this blog.

That doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. In fact I think about coming here almost daily.

I think about the posts that I would write to you all. Things I would share. Things I would say. Cute little gifs that I find funny or little stories about my life that you might find entertaining.

But I never wrote them.

I haven't written in my journal since May.

I haven't written for pleasure for longer than that.

I hadn't been reading either.

Then suddenly a few weeks ago it was like the fog lifted. I tore through five books in just a week. I suddenly had my journal out and while I have yet to write in it ideas have been forming and thoughts have been culminating and at this point it is just a matter of time.

And then there was this blog. This blog that I loved so dearly but was avoiding. I had no idea what I was avoiding just that I couldn't come here and post the things that I wanted and I couldn't stop worrying about the fact that I hadn't even read a blog post in weeks and honestly what kind of blogger am I if I don't post or read blogs? Answer: a crappy one.

So since today is the first of August and since things around here are going to be changing a lot I am back here in this space again. I'm making sure that I am reading things that spark my interest and make me happy. I am going to start writing again even if it is all just nonsense on a page. I am back to trying to find myself again after spending the summer lost and somewhere else.

So I don't know if anyone is still out there listening but I'm sending this message into the void. Hopefully many more will follow.

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Confessions:It is what it is....

I confess that lately I haven't really known what I am going to do with this space. You may or may not have noticed my absence lately but basically I've written about 6 posts in the past 3 months. I'm just not sure what it is I am getting from this blog anymore. Sometimes I come here just as an outlet but lately I have felt paranoid about that. Once you put things on the internet they stay there forever and I worry about putting my heart here and then it being out there for all to see. I do keep a journal but I haven't wanted to write in that either lately. I'm not sure if I am avoiding things or what is going on but I haven't felt like coming here and addressing the things on my mind. 

I confess that honestly I feel like I have fallen into the trap of posting the same posts over and over again and I haven't put much heart into them which is something that I really dislike. I prefer to write things that if they aren't important than at least they are enjoyable and that has not been the case lately and I apologize for that. 

I confess that this probably stems from feeling a little lost and stagnant in my life lately. A lot of plans that I had for myself haven't come to fruition and now I am struggling to figure out what the next step is. 


I confess that after the epicness of a weekend at Planet Comicon it always takes a few days for me to get back to normal. It's like this huge adrenaline rush for three full days and then the sudden end of it is a really abrupt for me. Also being an introvert putting that much energy into getting ready and being out among that many people always drains me. So basically this week has been a bit of a wash because I am still trying to get back to normal. 

I confess that I'm not sure where I am going with this post I am just trying to be honest and put it out there that things are just kind of meh right now. I'm trying and I do love blogging I just feel like I don't have anything to add to the conversation anymore. I'm going to try and at least come here and post something once a week but it it what it is. 

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