It's time for Confession!
I confess that I am still attempting to recover from the weekend. I love having friends over, playing games, and being busy, but since I'm also highly introverted these things take a massive toll on me. After four days of people and all of yesterday cleaning up the aftermath, I just kind of want to lie in bed all day and be quiet.
I confess that while that may be what I want to do it isn't what I will actually get to do. One of the hardest parts of being a Mom for me is that I'm always "on". Kyra still needs me to be her mom and take care of her even if all I want to do is switch off for the day. It's just not an option.
I confess that this year at Ren Fest was probably one of my least favorite. It wasn't the festivals fault by any means. I just foolishly underestimated the drama of my two year old. Kyra wasn't bad really, she was just a kid, but I was frustrated and disappointed that I missed out on pretty much everything I wanted to do because she needed me. Sure my husband tried to help but Kyra wasn't having that. She only wanted me. She wanted me to carry her which is something I can't do for an extended period of time anymore because she is a wiggly two year old or she wanted me to pull her in the wagon which I didn't mind doing but she had a little melt down every time I stopped to look at something. I know that someone will be like "Well just get a babysitter!" but that wasn't an option and honestly I wanted her there initially so that we could have fun together.
I confess that I have been dealing with a LOT of mommy guilt lately. I have been feeling the need to take a break and do something just for me but the minute I suggest it...guilt. Guilt at not wanting to spend every minute with Kyra. Guilt at asking someone else to watch her for a little bit. Guilt because I am a Stay At Home Mom. I know that that some people think this is the life I chose so why am I complaining? If this is what I wanted then why do I need time away?
I confess that I'm frustrated with my vacuum. Lately I've noticed my it isn't working correctly. I'm not sure what is wrong but the suction isn't there. I cleaned it thoroughly and am now just waiting for the canister to air dry and hoping for the best...if that fails I will have to see if I can get it cleaned out with the air compressor.
I confess that even though all that is going on, I am so very happy that tomorrow is the first day of October. I love October. I love fall. I love Halloween. I love chilly weather. I am so ready for sweaters, cozy blankets and cups of cocoa!
That's it for me today. Be sure to join the linkup! Happy Humpday Everyone!
Don't feel guilty about needing some me time! We all need it, mom or not! And the vaccuum thing is the worst. Mine still isn't working even though I've basically taken it all apart, cleared out every tube and crany and put it back together again. So frustrating!
ReplyDeleteDude, if you aren't taking care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else very well! Just because she's your kid doesn't mean you don't need a break from her. I mean, I love my dogs (obviously the only comparison I have) but I also love not having to get up and feed them at 0630 and deal with them stepping on my feet and jumping up and down and being retarded when they are with a dog sitter. You're still human, cut yourself some slack!!!
ReplyDeletePlease send me this fall you speak of. It's "feels like" 97 degrees here in Charleston right now with 71% humidity and rising and I'm over this bullshitary. Over it, sooo over it.
I confess that Teh German has vacuumed the last 2 times and he didn't empty out the canister when he was finished and it made me slightly crazy, but who looks a vacuuming gift horse in the mouth?? No one, that's who.
I will third this - You need adult time! I personally applause SAHM's because I sure as hell couldn't have done it,even if I wanted to. They would have carted me off to the funny farm!
ReplyDeleteYay - October! It's mid 60s here and goig down to 40 tonight - whoohoo!
I respect your honesty about Mommy guilt and your Ren Fest experience. You put Kyra's health and happiness as top priority which is wonderful, but don't forget to make YOU a priority too. I totally believe that.
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