So I've been thinking about things.
Things I am good at and things I am not so good at.
Things I wish I was good at and things that are just not going to happen.
I've come to a few conclusions.
One~
I am not a YouTuber. I wish I was, I wish I had the time to spend editing and filming videos. I love watching videos and I am never out of ideas for content. I have ideas just floating around in my head waiting for the chance to be seen but alas I have no time to video and edit. It takes a lot of time. I tried to film a March Favorites video and it took me a million tries and it still didn't end up right and I have no time to edit it down to a good length. Also halfway through filming Kyra's nap ended and I found myself shooting the video with a little one crawling around me and trying to steal all the items off my desk as I filmed. It was entertaining but not great for filming quality.
Two~
I AM a good writer. This I am certain of, I know that I can write and that I write well. I know that when I am feeling down or happy or anything in between it is writing that I turn to in order to express those emotions.
Three~
I actually really love blogging. I love knowing I have a little corner of the internet to myself that I can put content out into the world. It may not always be the most amazing content, and maybe it doesn't make much more than a tiny ripple in the ocean that is blog land, but it is my space and I love it.
Four~
I am not good at promoting my blog. I've never been in it for the money, I do not like to "Pimp" my blog out in any fashion. I love link ups, I love doing tag posts, but "sponsors" make me uncomfortable. I'm really just here to write....and I honestly hate posts that have three words of the actual author's content and then a page worth of sponsors. I've said it before, I come to your blog to read about YOU. I will find other blogs via linkups and such, also I would never pay money for someone more popular than me to promote me. It seems....just too weird.
Five~
I love makeup. I love beauty products in general. However I am never going to be one of those girls that it is okay for me to drop a lot of money on makeup. Maybe this makes me not as dedicated as the others, I'm not sure. Also lately I feel like the wind has been taken out of my sails on the whole thing. No one ever really took my makeup advice before and now they are taking someone else's instead and repeating it back to me even though I've known these things for years....even though I've told them these things before.
Six~
Most people in real life are not listening to what I am saying. I'm excitable, a HUGE fangirl, and in general pretty silly.....but my voice is pretty much ignored on anything important. Actually....my voice is ignored in general. By everyone. This is not for a pity party it is just the truth. No one cares what I am saying, I'm just a weird piece of furniture in their lives (quote from Juno, amazing movie)
Seven~
I am done writing content in order to "impress". Those posts always feel forced and awful to me and thus I am done with them. I write what I write and that is that. I'm done trying to be like This blogger or That blogger. I'm just me, and that is enough.
Eight~
I am a crappy photographer. End of story.
Nine~
I am slightly obsessive. When I find something I like I have to know all the things about it. I latch on tightly and don't let go. Sometimes this obsession might pass, but more than likely it will not. As I said I am a Fangirl and that is one of their many qualities.
Ten~
There are going to be some changes around this blog. I am going to really start writing for myself and if people happen to like it that would be awesome. I am tired of feeling like everything I enjoy someone else has already done so what is the point? I'm done with that. So what if someone else has done it? So what if my favorite things are things that maybe other people are much better at? I love baking, makeup, writing, reading, blogging, comic books, movies, cosplay, D&D characters, and being a mom. Am I an expert at any of these things? NOPE. But I'm over all that, I'm done feeling like I am less than. All those things make me who I am...and now I'm just ready to be me.
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