Thursday, November 20, 2014

Thursday Thoughts: Biggest Regret

Good Morning Everyone,

So the other day my youngest brother was over and he asked me,

"What's your biggest regret?"

He's dealing with the whole post college graduation 'I have a degree, now what?' stage of life. I feel bad for him because I remember being 23 and wondering what I was going to do with my life...now here I sit at 29 and I still don't know.

Anyhow when he asked me I initially thought COLLEGE but honestly I met my best friends in college so that wasn't true.

My biggest regret is the Student Loan I took out.

Ugh I hate that thing.

It's like the albatross around my neck....or an anchor....either way it is keeping me down and it makes my life harder than it should be...

I have been paying on that thing since 2007. I've been paying every single month....and it is still not below 30 grand. Thanks interest rate!

I hate that I am in debt for something I didn't finish. I started off with trying to get a degree in journalism but it was just WAY too cutthroat for me. Also I hate badgering people for interviews and I could care less about the news. After that I was lost at sea. Don't go to college without a sure plan of what you want to do...and a backup just in case. I have so many friends with degrees that aren't even working in the field they have the degree in....or they are working at a Target or other retail chain because employers want experience along with the very expensive piece of paper. It's so frustrating how much education costs in this country. It's frustrating to know that I will most likely be paying for this thing up until Kyra goes to college.

I wish I would have just kept working and saving my money. I wish that I would have used that money for more fun things instead of feeling overwhelming guilt every time I wanted something. I still have issues with the whole guilt thing...I want something so badly until I get to the store and pick up the item and then suddenly I am filled with immediate panic over whether or not I should spend the money. Shouldn't I be saving it? What if there is an emergency? What if? What if?

It's exhausting.

So that is my biggest regret...I know it is the one that I have shed the most tears over.

What's your biggest regret?

Confessions 11/19

Kimmi 9:05:00 AM 6 comments Edit

Morning Everyone,

Let's Confess...

I confess I got sucked into the black hole of YouTube and watched two hours of surprise baby announcements. I'm not pregnant and don't plan to be for a while yet but these videos are so adorable and uplifting...I'm a weirdo I know.

I confess that what I learned from these announcements is that Grandma's to be are like crazy happy....most of the Grandpa's are as well....80% of the Husbands however?? You can see the light go out of their eyes as they realize they have to be responsible and suddenly think their lives are over.

I confess that over the weekend I made Buffalo Chicken Dip and it was AWESOME. Also confess that I ate it alone because the hubs doesn't like spicy food.

I also confess that I ate it on toasted bread the first night because I didn't have any chips.

I confess that I hate house plants. Seriously...they are just...another chore. The one next to me currently is finally perking up because I noticed it was half dead right before my husband came home and nearly drowned it in the hopes it would survive. (He likes them.) I dunno....maybe it is because I got most of them from funerals? Either way my thumbs are not green.

That's it for me today! Happy Wednesday Everyone!!

Linking up with Liz @ Fitness Blondie!

Linking up with Shannon as well!!

Tuesday Tunes: A New Series

Kimmi 9:22:00 AM 1 comment Edit

Morning Everyone,

So my week is pretty much shaping up to be pretty....well crap. However after doing my heavy handed post yesterday where you all let me whine a bit I am here to bring a little humor to your Tuesday.

I've decided to do a series of posts called Tuesday Tunes. I've done posts before with the title but I got to thinking about how much fun they are so I thought I would just go ahead and make it a series. Plus it makes it much easier to write posts that already have a theme. I need a little structure in my life.

Anyhow I saw this post a while ago on Reddit and then it popped up again in my Facebook Feed. The video is just adorable and basically describes how I feel after a weekend of cleaning only to have my husband come home and just leave his dirty laundry all over the place, clutter up my table again, and leave dishes out for me this morning. Seriously he is worse than the one year old....

So here is the video, hope you all enjoy, Have a great Tuesday and join me back here for Confession Day tomorrow!

Mommy Needs a Vacation

Kimmi 8:48:00 AM 2 comments Edit

Good Morning Everyone,

This morning I woke up in a blind panic thinking, "Crap! I'm late for work!" but then Kyra smacked me in the face with her foot and I realized, "Oh no I'm not. I'm at work....I'm always at work."

This weekend was deer hunting weekend at my husband's Mom and Step-Dad's. Which means my husband left on Friday and now it is Monday morning and he is still not home. Sure he sat out in the cold for hours and all that jazz....but he did it out of fun. He got a whole weekend away from responsibilities...I want to not be jealous as he does it every year but...damn I could use a weekend away.

So without the hubs around commenced a "girls weekend"....aka Kyra and me.

Friday wasn't too bad. My parents had some errands to run and invited us along. I can actually get some shopping done when there are two other people there to distract Kyra. Especially my parents because she would rather be with them than me anyway.

Saturday was a day of chores. Laundry, general cleaning, and trying to keep Kyra out of mischief. My whole family ended up getting really sick so we didn't go visit them the rest of the weekend. Mom has the flu, brother has a cold, and Dad broke out in hives. So basically it was just Kyra and me all day. She thought it was fun....I mostly just felt exhausted because I can't count the number of times I had to say: "Don't Touch That!" "No!" "Kyra please don't sit on the dog." "Kyra please don't do that" "Get that out of your mouth!" She did take a nap however and I got a lot of work done on the scarf that I am knitting. It is my first knitting project and it is just a scarf for myself but...I'm really slow. However I am really proud of how it is turning out and I will be sure to share it with you all once it is finished!

Sunday was more of the same. Laundry, cleaning...blah blah. Also my dog Brian has now decided since my husband is out of town he can get on the furniture. Um NO. Dog has no respect for me. My family was still sick except for Dad who had to work. So no visiting there. I did take Kyra out for an hour to run to the grocery store because they were having a sale on baking items and I needed flour. It was worth getting Kyra all geared up in winter clothes to score flour for .99 cents! Brown Sugar was also .99 cents and regular sugar was just a $1.29. Seriously you cannot pass up deals like that. Plus I was out of coffee....and no one wants that.

Now it is Monday...my husband isn't home yet and probably won't be until later this afternoon. Kyra had me up at five after the face kicking incident....so I've already mopped the floors and dusted this morning. Now I am sipping coffee, listening to my neighbors fight while their two year old screams, watching Kyra grind Cheez Its into my carpet, and dreaming of the vacation I'm going to take someday....somewhere where the tub is deep enough to cover both your boobs and your knees at the same time....that's the dream I tell ya.

Happy Monday Everyone.

Confession Day: Scott Pilgrim Style

Kimmi 11:13:00 AM 3 comments Edit

Hello Everyone,

Nope, no Good Morning today. Honestly I am really only blogging so that I can keep my sanity right now. So let's just get to it.

I confess that this morning has been a total shit show. Please pardon the language but sometimes the expletives are necessary.

I confess I was dressed, had my makeup on, Kyra was dressed and after two hours of absolutely everything being awful and just plain taking WAY longer and being WAY harder than it should be, I called it all off. We were supposed to go to story time and I was going to run errands but to hell with it. We are now in bum around clothes and Kyra is in her high chair with some juice and scrambled eggs happily singing to herself now that she is out of the sweater that she was crying about wearing. Seriously she is 1 and yet she is already protesting my outfit choices for her.

I confess that I need a new winter coat because the one I have fits everywhere but my freaking boobs. Seriously they just got huge after I had Kyra and they refuse to go down. I've lost 18 inches all over BUT NOT MY CHEST!

I confess that the stress of this morning has me wanting to EAT ALL THE THINGS. Because you know...I'm a stress eater.

I confess that my cup of coffee is my best friend right now.

I confess that I spent all day yesterday thinking about being positive and putting positive vibes out there and that good things come when you do that....yeah right now if I met yesterday me on the street I would probably throat punch her. Some days just suck like that.

I confess I didn't even have a confessions post ready...and that I totally forgot about blogging yesterday because I've been working on the novel instead and yes I should plan ahead ...

I confess that I love all you lovely blog people and thank god you all come here to listen to my daily ranting. You all rock.

I'm out.

P.S.- Scott Pilgrim rocks my socks.

Monday Mantra~Killing Doubt

Kimmi 5:00:00 AM 2 comments Edit

Good Morning Everyone,

So my post for this weekend didn't happen. It was pretty busy around here with visiting family and enjoying what is most likely the very last good weather of the year. I admit with distractions like that it is hard to think of sitting down at the computer and writing let alone blogging.

However I am back in action today and will attempt to get the lost post from the weekend reshaped into a future post for this week.

So while I was pinning a few days ago I came across this quote:

I know that similar things have been said many times but for some reason, be it the time that it popped up on my screen or just the simple wording, it stuck with me.

I struggle a lot with self doubt. A lot of people do I suppose. We are all usually wondering if we are doing the right thing, making the right choice, if anyone approves of what we are doing, have done, will do.

This quote struck me because I let myself doubt things to the point that some things never even happen. Usually concerning jobs not taken or nights out never leaving the house, but in particular lately...my writing and if I am honest....my sense of self.

I have been doubting my writing is any good....but that is pretty true of most writers...even very good ones. I doubt that it will ever leave my own personal head space at times. Still I write because I love it and I try to remind myself that even if I am never published the joy that writing brings me is enough, because you should cherish the things that bring you joy.

The sense of self is another matter.

I feel as though lately I have been doubting if I even matter. I doubt I have talent. I doubt if I have any skills. I doubt if anyone sees me as any one...or thing....important. I've been searching for the something that makes me...different? Special? I'm not really sure. Sometimes I feel as though I was made to do something worthwhile but I just haven't figured it out yet.

I never will figure it out if I keep doubting though.

I will never live up to my full potential if I doubt myself and my abilities.

So I am going to try to shelve those doubts and try to focus on the positives.

I'm going to push myself to be better than yesterday.

You never know until you try.

Friday Favorites 11/6

Kimmi 12:00:00 AM 6 comments Edit

Good Morning Everyone,

Happy Friday!

It's been a long and stressful week and I am very glad that today I get to post my favorite things to remind me that even though it was stressful, it was still a good week!

Here we go!