2012 Tears and Cheers/ Also the A-Z Fun thing

Hello Everyone!

Sorry it has been awhile since my last post....the holidays always get me all wrapped up and I never get things done in a timely fashion. Which is why I've spent most of this morning cleaning up and trying to make my house liveable again. However I am back again today with my Tears and Cheers of 2012....a look back on the year and the events that took place. Also I am stealing the A-Z thing from over at Fueled and Aflame because it looked like fun and reminded me of the old Myspace days of taking silly quizzes and passing them along to your friends.

First off Tears of 2012:
--I attended 19 funerals this year of various family and friends. One being for my wonderful grandfather that was taken from us too soon and one for my great grandmother who had just celebrated her 90th birthday. It was a very hard year....I will miss each and every person that we lost...

--My aunt discovered that she has breast cancer. She went in and had a double mastectomy on the 21st. The good news is it was not as bad as they had thought and had not spread to her lymph nodes. She is actually doing really great, but it has still been difficult.


Now the Cheers of 2012!
---In May I married the love of my life! He's amazing and the wedding was wonderful. I am so lucky to have had all of my loved ones there....It was the first time in 30 years my Mom and her siblings had all been together with their parents....and unfortunately it was the last time as well. I will cherish that day for always.

-- I got to go to Harry Potter World on my Honeymoon. It was a complete surprise planned by my husband and it was so much fun! I am a total Harry Potter nerd and I have to say that I loved every minute of the trip! It was so awesome being surprised even if I normally hate surprises! 

-- In October we found out that we are going to be parents! Due June 19th 2013, our little one is growing strong and healthy! Last week we got to see the ultrasound and baby was kicking away! Too early to know the sex yet but it made everything so very real to see the image of our baby. Also we are only having one (whew!) which is good since twins run in the family! It is so exciting that our family is about to grow...I can't wait to meet the little one!


Now to the A-Z

A. Age: 28

B. Bed size: Queen... but I keep wishing for a King

C. Chore you hate: Dishes....ugh they never stop and my husband never does them and the dishwasher has not worked in months....

D. Dogs: 3- A crazy mutt named Brian, A Shih-Tzu/Yorkie named Kiya, and a Shepherd Mix named Luna

 
E. Essential start to your day: Putting in my Contacts...I hate my glasses and if I am wearing them it means I am sick and should not be bothered!

 
F. Favorite color: Purple

 
G. Gold or Silver: White gold

 
H. Height:5/2

I. Instruments you play: Piano

 
J. Job Title: Administrative Assistant

 
K. Kids: In progress 

 
L. Live: Kansas City, MO

 
M. Married: May 12, 2012

 
N. Nicknames: Kim, Kimmy Cole, Sistah-Girl

 
O. Overnight hospital stays: None

 
P. Pet peeve:Ridiculous lazy slang i.e. "Cray" for crazy, "Tots" for Totally "Adorbs" for Adorable and YOLO.........Don't say these things around me or I will ignore you...call me a snob if you like but that is just lazy and stupid...you sound like an idiot....

Q. Quote:"You are who you choose to be"- Iron Giant and
"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
— Margery Williams (The Velveteen Rabbit)

 
R. Righty or Lefty: Righty.

S. Siblings: 2 Younger brothers that are giants and at least a foot taller than me....

 
T. Time you wake up:  6:30am

 
U. University attended: MIZ----ZOU! University of Missouri baby...Go Tigers!!

 
V. Vegetables you dislike: Green Beans...ick. Also I am allergic to Carrots.

 
W. What makes you run late: Usually the dogs....or my attempt to get dishes and laundry done before work in the hopes that after work I can relax......hah

 
X. X-rays you've had: Shattered my ankle and actually had them ask me if they could keep the x-rays for class since my break was so unusual. I of course said yes and my ankle is now being studied at the university!

 
Y. Yummy food: Right now I love Mint Chip Ice cream and Chocolate Milk....yum.

 
Z. Zoo animal favorite:Probably the Elephants or the big cats

Okay so that is just a bit about me and the past year I have had...Hope everyone is safe this New Year's and I will see you all back here next year! I might actually try to post a New Year's Vlog!! 

Also Hello New Followers! I danced around the house when I saw that I had been followed! Huzzah!!

Christmas Linkup Vlog/ SNOW DAY!!!

Hi everyone!

Okay so I am attempting to post a VLOG today! Hope it goes as planned!

Joining up with Fueled and Aflame's Holiday Linkup in an attempt to get out there and make more bloggy friends!

So here it is...sorry that I'm completely spastic as I move around....I was a little nervous!

Also apologies for rambling....oh and the weird face I am making....

Baby Oh Baby

First off….I can hardly talk about what happened on Friday. I work for a school district and I can tell you…it broke our hearts and terrified us…our worst fear come to life I can tell you. I was glued to the broadcast all day while praying for those in Sandy Hook and counting my blessings that our children here were safe. As a mommy to be I can tell you I felt like my heart shattered at the news…I had to turn the TV off all weekend and avoid the news until Monday when I could handle it better. There are no words to make this easier…nothing to be said that can take away the families pain…but I know we are all grieving for this horrible loss.

 

Now on a lighter note I am going to talk about my own little blessing currently growing inside me.

Next week we are going to get to do an ultra sound!  I am so very excited! We were not going to do one until the end of next month…(omg that was driving me crazy! I haven’t seen even one little image of this kiddo!) but since I have continued to be violently ill every day and because multiples run in the family they decided to move up the ultra sound and check things out. 

 

I am so excited!

 

I mean dance around in my chair doing the happy dance excited. 

 

Next week I get to see my baby! (or babies) 

 

I cannot wait…an extra little Christmas present! It will be too early to know the sex but all I want is just a picture of the little one. Something to put in the baby book besides logging all the foods I can’t eat (that is just about everything) and finally having to wear the belly band with my work clothes because even the fat ones won’t zip now! (only the belly is getting bigger and I haven’t gained a pound yet…but trust me… the belly is growing!) 

 

Hopefully my husband will get to go, but if not my mom is all about going with me…she is ready to see a picture of the grandbaby as well!

Thoughtful Thursday

This week in Baby Bump Central:

There is a bump! I have now noticed a little firm bump developing! When I suck in my stomach (which if I slouch looks like I am already like five months pregnant…) there is a little bump that does not go in! Progress! I noticed it in the mirror this morning while attempting to find something to wear. I seriously need to get some clothes. I threw out all my fat clothes once I shrank out of them and now I wear the same stuff all the time because I am too lazy/cheap to go looking for new stuff. However it has come to the point where I need to get up and get new stuff. Time to hit the clearance racks!

Here’s a fun fact:

I hate Facebook. I log in about once a day and always leave within moments because it irritates me so badly. People say some genuinely stupid things. However I am considering linking the blog up to it because no one comments here and it is lonely. I have been trying to comment on other blogs to try and lure people back here with my hilarity and awesomeness but to no avail. No one is reading this thing but me and that makes me sad all day. So maybe it is time for some shameless promotion…I mean everyone loves to read about babies, books, movies and the daily failings of someone as clueless as me right? No I don’t run marathons, and I never post pictures (I want to but only the iPad in the house takes pictures and it is a pain in the butt sometimes…), but I promise I can write a blog that is worth its’ salt! So maybe it is time to bite the bullet and self-promote….ugh the thought makes me nauseas…

Additional:

My baby brother is home from college! Fun and games will now begin!

All my shopping is done! I only have two more presents to wrap and I am complete for the season! Huzzah!

I am starting my Christmas Cards today….I am only sending ones out to people that send me one. I am not going to go crazy and send one out to everyone I know like normal…postage is expensive…

I am starting to get over my sickness but still have a bit of a cough…now I am sure my poor husband will come down with it and his will be so severe that the world will be ending…perhaps he will be the cause of the panic next week 

Personally I don’t think the world is going to end, though if it does I imagine I will become like an Amazon Warrior woman with the baby strapped to me as I lead a band of misfits across the dangerous land in search of food and shelter….you may begin laughing now.

Well that’s it for me today, hope the week is finding you well!

 

 

Incubus of Viral Plague

That is me today. I have caught whatever it is that everyone has caught. I am a sickly mess and feel like crap and am seriously considering putting my dogs out on the curb for adoption if they don't stop fighting with one another and leave mommy alone to sleep and rest and attempt to feel better.

I would give anything to be able to breathe right now.

I had a post from yesterday that apparently I just saved as a draft and didn't schedule but it seems kind of pointless now as it was a yesterday post and not a today post so it will just sit in the archives it seems.

Now I am off to curl up on my couch with a hot tea and lwatch my feel good movies until I pass out. Unfortunately since I can't take any meds since I am pregnant I have no idea when the passing out will occur. I was up all night only getting an hour's worth of sleep before hearing my husband tossing his cookies and then being up again to make sure he was okay.

Now to the movies:

Love Actually
Devil Wears Prada
All the Christmas movies I own which actually have their own post so I won't list them here.

Hope you and yours are avoiding this sickness.

Take care.

(pic from google search)

Observations

Here is a little run down of observations that I have come across this week:

 

1.       Apparently Kate Middleton and I are both 12 weeks along in our pregnancies. Only she is currently in the hospital with severe morning sickness….I am just sitting at work and running to the bathroom every couple minutes to dry heave or enjoy that lovely yellow bile that I am now familiar with. I am not a duchess so like other people I have to just work through this ick. 

 

2.       Elf on the Shelf has taken over Pinterest and I hate him. The thing is creepy and will probably kill someone in their sleep. The moment I see him I leave Pinterest…which has helped curb my addiction nicely. 

 

3.       I miss food. Seriously I actually miss the days when I loved food, now the thought or sight of food makes me want to get violently sick. There is no limit to what I am adverse to; I have to choke down food just so the doctor doesn’t yell at me…oh yeah and I don’t die or something. 

 

4.       Hormones are just evil. I am up, I am down, and I am just plain mean sometimes. I really hate how horrid I can act when I let them get the best of me. I try to apologize a lot and am grateful that everyone gives me a bit of room since I am pregnant. 

 

5.       For some reason the baby websites always tell you what size the baby is by referring to fruit. I fear that I sound like an idiot when I say, “The baby is the size of a plum this week!” I mean…how many people eat plums all that often? 

 

6.       I am eager for a bump because right now I think I just look fat. I feel like I must explain to people as they see me “I’m pregnant! I promise that I am not just gaining weight and being lazy! I am in fact walking and trying to be as healthy as possible!” I realize no one but me cares but…well I CARE. Also the scale has not moved at all, my pants just don’t fit anymore because really there is growth going on there…but I just feel fat. 

 

7.       I have no clothes. I threw out all my fat clothes so that I wouldn’t be tempted to grow back into them. Now everything is uncomfortable and I have one pair of slacks and one pair of jeans that actually fit….the belly band helps sometimes but it is time for new tops and such. It’s time to do some shopping…

 

8.       I am avoiding shopping because I don’t want to look at what size I will have to buy. Ridiculous I know. 

 

9.       Never tell anyone baby names you kind of like. They will label the baby or else really hurt your feelings by saying something stupid. People can act like real idiots around pregnant ladies. Seriously I have a doctor that I pay to tell me what to do and what is safe. I read the books and I just try to use common sense. I do not need to know about your second cousin that was in labor for a whole weekend, or the woman who had a 14 pound baby. Seriously, shut up. 

 

10.   Nothing makes me happier lately than new episodes of my favorite shows showing up on Netflix. It is the highlight of my nights. That is just so sad. 

 

11. This video made me laugh so hard I almost peed. 

 

A Fresh Baked Batch

So I am seriously on the border line here. My sanity feels like it has slipped away and the threat of tears is at level ten. Also I managed to misspell almost every word so far in this blog as I type and that means that my pregnancy brain is in full effect. 

 

My hormones are out of control.

 

Not to be dramatic but I have never been this way before. Even in the really dark places of PMS that can and do happen I have never been this bi polar. 

 

Need an example? Yeah I got one. 

 

Last night we spend the night tossing and turning. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. I normally sleep on my stomach but that is no longer possible while feeling comfortable, plus my irrational fear of crushing the baby. So since I cannot sleep the way I always have for like forever…I am tossing and miserable, which means my poor husband is also miserable. 

 

So he gently suggests at 3a.m. that he go and sleep on the couch and let me have the bed so that we both can get some rest. 

 

What was my response? I cry. Like huge sobbing ugly cry and accuse him of not wanting to be with me. 

 

The poor guy sighs and gives me a kiss and lies back down next to me for another 30 minutes of misery before I finally regain my reason and tell him that it is fine and he should go get some sleep. He didn’t wait for a second chance; the man practically sprinted from the room. We both managed to get a few hours’ sleep after that, but I will admit I continued to cry after he left for a good 15 minutes. 

 

This is just one sample of the crazy that I have become. I won’t even go into the whining or sniping that occurred while we tried to Christmas shop together yesterday. I think I was just exhausted after having shopped all day Saturday. Never shop twice in a weekend. You will regret it. I regret it. 

 

Also I thought it was a good idea to make brownies at 9pm last night. They were awesome but kept me up way past my bedtime which may have caused the spontaneous crying. Or else I really am just losing my mind. 

 

Did any of you other Momma’s have this issue? I have a few friends that tell me this is normal but maybe they are just trying to be nice to me since I have turned into a psycho? 

 

(Also I wrote this post on Sunday night and just now am getting it up...I forgot that I wrote it....awesome)

Dear Baby....

I thought I would try out a little posting segment here on the blog....I have always kept a journal, either filling it with personal things or filling it with stories that I come up with daily. Since I found out I was pregnant I have been keeping a journal of things that I think and things going on with the baby in the form of letters to the baby....I thought it might be fun to share a few of the little letters that I write!

So here goes:

Dear Baby,

We heard your heartbeat the other day. It was a fast fluttering noise to me....like hummingbird wings. Your dad insists it sounded more like rushing wind when you are at the top of something very tall. I like the hummingbird idea better since you are still so small.

It's very strange how real it all seems now. I know for sure you are in there and I wonder just what it is you hear. I also wonder how someone so small could cause me some of the worst tummy troubles ever and cause me heartburn for the first time in my life! This week you still like chocolate milk best and do not like pretty much anything else! We start to eat something and you decide that we are not having it...it makes trying to decide on dinner very difficult and your poor daddy keeps trying so hard to make us happy!

According to the websites you are the size of a lime but you aren't even a little bump showing yet! I am excited that in a few weeks I might actually be able to feel you moving around in there and in 8 weeks I will get to see your first picture!

I hope you know how happy I am despite feeling sick and I hope that you don't think I am crazy for singing to you when you probably can't hear me yet. You will see that your mom sings all the time once you are here in the world...mostly Disney songs too....

Well Goodnight Baby...though I am sure we will be up at least six more times before the morning gets here!

New New New

So after six years of using the same crappy laptop my husband and I decided that this Christmas we would get a new one.

It arrived yesterday.

I love it.

It has a huge screen and I can see EVERYTHING.

I finally got the chance to mess around with apps and my blog finally got the changes that I have been wanting to make for months now. It finally is starting to look like a real blog! I love my new design and I am pretty proud of myself for doing it myself instead of begging my far more tech savvy brother to do it for me!

I owe a huge debt to Chris over at Hubby Jack. After learning how to create my little Favicon it clicked that I could do far more with PicMonkey and Paint! Thus I finally designed a blog header that I like and I have a cute little Favicon!

Anyhow having a pretty blog makes me actually want to post more and perhaps if I post more I will have more than just one follower...(Hi Holly!)

I am working on commenting on other blogs more and I am trying to get myself out there again...it all feels a little awkward still...I never was that good at self promotion, but I will try to get out in the world again, especially since I am probably going to be posting questions about being a new mom!

So here's to New things, changes, and all around goodness!

Things I am not good at....

- art of any type....(no drawing, painting, sketching, sculpting...)

- Doing one thing at a time

- Being Patient

- Posting Blog comments, I never feel I have much to say...or I debate over something until I am just too frustrated to post anything!

- Paying attention to something I find dull....like boring meetings

-Not daydreaming while my husband tries to explains guy movies to me...I wander off a lot until he starts saying nonsense to make sure I am paying attention....

- Nail art

- Cooking

- Remaining rational during a fight...I tend to just cry and repeat myself a lot....

-Being fashionable (I wear the same stuff all the time)

In contrast here are some things that I am actually pretty awesome at!

-Writing (When I don't criticize myself to the point of frustration I actually can write)

- Baking

- My makeup (I can really rock it when I want to! )

- Cross Stitch

- Telling stories

- Creating elaborate things in attempts to be organized

-Proof reading scripts and other people's work, this is when my critic is useful and not hurtful!

-Listening when something is really important and being empathetic to those that are hurting 

- Healing after a fight, just let it go, it was stupid anyways!

- Christmas Decorating!!! 

- I'm a pretty awesome wife!!

Q&A and Dr. Appt. Update:

So today we had our Doctor’s appointment and my husband went with me so we could hear the baby’s heartbeat together. I thought I was going to have an ultrasound this time but apparently my doctor won’t do one until I am further along….like at 19 weeks! So I was a little bummed we didn’t get to see the little one yet but we did hear a very fast heartbeat after the doctor got done chasing the little one all around my womb. So far we just heard one heartbeat (twins run in the family) so we believe it is just one little one in there!

Here’s a little Q&A based on all the questions everyone has asked since we announced our news! I thought it might be fun to share in case anyone out there reading was interested!

How far along are you?

As of Today I am 11 weeks and 3 days

When is your due date?
My due date is June 19^th, 2013

Have you had any morning sickness?
Yes, minimal but yes I have had it. Although when my mom was pregnant with me she actually found out because she went to the doctor thinking she was dying. She couldn’t keep anything down and felt awful. She was so relieved when the doctor told her she was just pregnant!

I spend a lot of time nauseas however, even if I don’t get physically sick, I still feel icky and I have had one or two bouts with vertigo. Also I sleep A LOT. We are talking 10-11 hours here…this is excessive for someone who normally operates on 4-6….

Are you going to continue to work after the baby is born?

As of right now, yes, I still plan on working after…but that might change.

Have you started wearing maternity clothes or gained any weight?
I am in my “fat” clothes that I hadn’t gotten rid of yet. I am only one size up and I haven’t gained anything according to the scale at the doctor’s office. My doctor actually asked if I was eating and keeping food down. That is a resounding YES. But apparently the baby needs the extra I’ve been eating; which is fine by me! I did buy a belly band however and I love that thing!

Are you showing yet? When can we see pictures?
I am not showing, no. There is a little firmness but other than my normal little belly pouch there is no extra bump that I can see yet.

Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Yes, we are going to have a gender reveal party actually and I am really excited about it!

Were you surprised when you got a positive pregnancy test?
Yes we were, Very much so! However I had a slight suspicion when I didn’t get my “friend” on time. I am never late, like not ever. So when it had been four days with no sign of anything…not even any PMS…I thought it was time to buy that little pink box.

Had you guys been trying?
No, we had been planning to wait to really try once we had been married a year, but fate had other ideas it seems! 

Did you tell your husband in any special way? Ha! No. I was shocked to see the little plus sign appear…I actually took another one right then to be sure and then walked out to the living room and told my husband that we were going to be parents while holding two sticks in my hand. He was surprised, I was surprised…and it took a few days before we stopped wandering around in shock. (Full Disclosure: I took another test the next morning just to check again!)

Do you want a boy or girl?
Either is just fine by us…but I think that my husband really wants a son to carry on the family name since he and his brother are the last two.

Do you have names picked out?

I have a few names I am toying around with…my husband has one in particular that he really likes, but the names are going to be kept under wraps until the big day!

Are you going to follow an eating plan? Any Cravings?
Not so much. Mostly I am just listening to my body’s signals. This means I eat like eight times a day, very small portions otherwise I get sick. Also no real cravings yet, but I do think about Chocolate Milk  and Cocoa a lot…I try to not go overboard with these but they are so amazing once I have gotten my hands on them! 

Holiday recap

Welcome back from the Happy Holiday!

Well apparently for some people it was a stress induced madhouse which I can relate to as most of my holidays are that way. Holly’s description of an OCD mom wanting to make everything from scratch and make the holiday perfect as can be reminds me of every holiday prior to this last one. My mom always works so insanely hard to make everything wonderful and she cooks for an army and works so hard that by the time it is dinner time she is exhausted and ready for a nap and really tired of being around all of us!

This year however was a different story.

My mom decided that Thanksgiving was just going to be the six of us (my immediate family and my husband) and that we would just have lunch and then hang out.

It was AWESOME.

Dinner turned out fabulous like always but there was no rush or hurry. My husband and I showed up and mom was happy as could be. The food was done and everyone was in a good mood. After chowing down we cleared the table and settled in for a game of Creationary.

(image from Google) 

 My mom picked this up after seeing the commercial and I can tell you it was great fun and hilarious. Also I won because I am awesome at board games and am a great guesser. This game is definitely a must for family get-togethers; you will laugh until you cry.

The rest of Thanksgiving was spent by me snoozing away ( I have no control over this anymore, I sleep ALL. THE. TIME. ) My husband had to go into work at 11pm and didn’t get home until well after 6am. I did not go out shopping because the thought of crowds and people and the smells…well it’s all a little overwhelming for me at this point. So instead I watched movies and slept.

Friday was spent with Mourning (yes I spelled that correctly) Sickness. I mean the entire day was spent with me sick. Most likely because I overate the day before or maybe it was just the baby’s way or reminding me it was there. Either way, Friday was a complete no go.

Saturday was spent at my husband’s father’s place. My step mother in law had all her family there and it was a crowded space and I confess I went and hid in the basement where it was cool and quiet. Not trying to be anti-social but when I overheat I get sick right now. The gathering was nice but I couldn’t stay long, the sickness was setting in yet again.

Sunday my husband spent the morning with the guys out at breakfast while I stayed home and made space for the Christmas tree. Once he was home he drug out all the stuff and now my Christmas tree is up and lit and I feel amazingly happy. It almost brought me to tears which amused my husband. I cry over everything though so really it was no surprise.

All in all the holiday was really great and I enjoyed that it was a simple one this year since being pregnant takes a lot out of a girl! I am currently working on my “pregnancy so far” post and hopefully will have it up for tomorrow, also tomorrow I go in to the doctor for my first ultrasound!! I cannot wait to see the little life in there!

Thanksgiving announcement

Hello All!

Okay so I am going to be on time this time with the blog link up that Holly is hosting! I am actually going to get this up tonight so that I am not scrambling a post together three days later…in my normal epic failing manner….

I would have liked to do a VLOG but I have yet to figure out how to do it….I suppose I can do it from my iPad? I dunno….anyhow I’ll just write it up instead! 

 

Here are the questions:

1.       What do you look forward to more: the food, football or parades?---Um the food. I love Thanksgiving food, most specifically mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes. This Thanksgiving in particular I am really looking forward to the food…providing when I actually get to eat it still looks appetizing…

               
2. What is your favorite non-traditional Thanksgiving Day dish? Well this year it is going to be Pineapple Upside down cake as that is what I am contributing to the dessert table! It’s my favorite cake and I even had Pineapple Upside down cupcakes at our wedding!

3. After dinner, is it football or a nap? Um…normally it is neither. Normally I am off to my husband’s family or someone else’s to eat another dinner……this year however I will probably pass out…as I am prone to these days….

4. Do you watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Which is your favorite float? Yes I watch it but don’t have a favorite float. I like the performances the most!

5. Where do you go to celebrate and eat your big meal? Who is there (family, friends)? This year it is just my parents, my 2 brothers, my husband, and me. This year anyhow….

6. What is your favorite turkey day dessert? I think sweet potatoes are a dessert….other than that I suppose um….can I say my cake again? Cake.

 

Okay so if you haven’t guessed from my little (not so subtle) hints I have some news to share along with this Thanksgiving post….

I’m pregnant!

It has been super hard to not post about it on the blog here but this seems like a great week to go ahead and put it out there into the world!

I will be doing a big post on how we found out and all those other things tomorrow but for today I just had to shout it out here! My husband and I are super excited and it’s going to be a whole new chapter in our lives as new parents!

Big hugs from around here and hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

Getting Organized

There is something immensely satisfying about organization.

Or at least I find it satisfying anyhow.

I finally posted back on the blog and actually feel ready to start making regular posts again.

I spent a good portion of my evening cleaning up my Google reader and clearing out blogs that have either fallen by the wayside or just don't apply to me anymore (Bridal Blogs).

It feels amazing to have my reader all cleaned up and providing me updates on blogs that I actually read daily and follow regularly. Also it will make it much easier for me to start commenting on the blogs I love and get myself back out there in the world again. I cannot remain a blogging hermit!

It's nice to have this little space where I am creator and controller. My house right now looks like a disaster area after our Halloween party and of course having three dogs now instead of two is doing a number on my nerves. Plus I have been so exhausted lately that I have not had the motivation to do more than laundry.

My hubs even had to do the dishes.

Also he made dinner last night.

Yes ladies you have my permission to be jealous. He rocks my face off.

Do expect more changes on the blog, my brother is currently trying to help me achieve some updated looks around here and also be expecting some other awesomeness this week as well!!!

Changes!

It’s been so very long since I posted anything.

The only thing I can blame it on is that my life has been super crazy lately and I have been battling exhaustion like nobody’s business. Any free time I have lately is spent sleeping!

That being said I have really been dreaming about the blog a lot. Trying to come up with what I want it to be like and what I see for it in the future. I have some ideas, but I am nervous about getting things going. Blogging is so personal some times and that can be a very scary thing for someone who is pretty private. Even if I am a writer that doesn’t mean I want to write everything down for everyone to see it. Still I feel the need to write and document things and I really LOVE blogs. I love reading them and when I am in the groove I love writing one.

So I am going to start anew and breathe some new life into this little blog of mine. So be expecting some serious changes around here, hopefully starting with the way my layout is and moving on from there!

Also since I won’t be able to do NANOWRIMO this year I think I will participate in a little challenge of my own….at least three posts a week for the rest of the year! I would love to commit to more than that but I have to start small for now!

In Memorium

Apologies for the blog silence of the past week and a half.

Things in my life have been crazy.

On September 28^th my grandfather passed away quite suddenly.

Everything has been a scattered mess since then.

I miss him.

I wrote and read the eulogy.

It made my family laugh and cry.

Everyone, especially my mom, told me how proud they were.

I hope that Pap-pa was proud.

I wrote my very best words just for him.

This is the first grandparent that I have lost.

There is a new little hole in my heart.

But each day the ache eases away slightly.

My memories of him shine brighter.

I loved him very much.

I still love him very much.

My normal posts will resume after this, I just felt like this post had to be written first and I didn’t want to write it. It’s all too real that he is gone. It’s all too real that just a week ago we buried him, military funeral honors and all, and they handed that flag over, saluting it in tribute to a great man.

I miss you Pap-pa. I miss you, miss you, miss you, miss you. So much.

Friday Favorites (this week!)

#1 I am now hooked on Blogilates. 

 

 

     The workouts are amazing and I can really feel the burn in my abs and my butt! The songs are fun and keep you going, plus once you memorize the workout you can do it whenever the song happens to come on the radio! Loving it!

In addition she has some great tips on clean eating and even posts up a workout calendar for the month to keep you going!

If you would like to check out her blog then go ahead and click on the link at the top of this section. No, this is not a sponsored post, she has no idea who I am or that I am promoting her blog and Youtube channel. This is just to share the fun! 

 

#2 Greek Yogurt

 

 

Okay so I know that everyone has been spouting the joys of Greek yogurt for awhile now, but I admit that I was too chicken to try it until just recently. It happened to be on sale at the store so I picked up some Dannon Vanilla Greek Yogurt. OMG. I love the thickness and the tartness! It was amazingly good as breakfast with a little bit of fruit added in. Tasty stuff! I cannot wait to try to make my own frozen yogurt with this yummy goodness. Again I was not paid for this, nor did I receive any freebies. Although that would have been awesome!  

 

#3 Birchbox

 

 

I have had Birchbox for about 6 months now and I have to say it is amazing. Every month they send you samples of some really great high end items (mostly makeup and face care) and it is really nice to have a chance to try some of these items that you might not have had the opportunity or you didn’t know if it would be worth it to shell out your hard earned cash to find out that you don’t like something! I have found a lot of products that I really adore and some things that I am really glad that I didn’t spend the money on as they didn’t work for me at all! The subscription is 10 bucks a month, but it really is worth it if you have the extra to spend. Admittedly mine started as a gift from a friend as a wedding present but after that ran out I started paying for it and it’s still awesome! Again this is not a paid review and I didn’t get any freebies. 

 

 

#4 Color Club Polish

 

I received this color from my Birchbox and I LOVE them! I hate the name of “Age of Aquarious” because that ridiculous song gets stuck in my head, but the color is just lovely. The second is almost a dupe for China Glaze “For Audrey” I love that it stands out and is so bright. It makes my toes look so happy!

Productivity

Yesterday was a rough day.

Work was crazy and I was tired from the long weekend of having everyone over. I told my husband that once I got home I would not be doing anything. I was taking the night off.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

I got home and suddenly I had a burst of energy. I am blaming in on the fact that I did a quick five minute toning workout at work on my break. When I got home I just wanted to get things done. The house was already really clean since we had done the major stuff last week in prep for company but I wanted to keep it up and do the little things that add up to big results. AKA laundry and dishes and junk like that.

So once I got home I set about making dinner and doing the dishes. After dinner was done my husband requested brownies, so I baked brownies and started laundry. Then it was time to do a little “Me” type stuff, so I did a face mask and painted my nails. Then it was time for more laundry. That kept going until I was all caught up for the week! I also got in another workout and my shower, plus pre made my lunch and breakfast for today!

Wanna know what time I got to bed after all this productivity??

10pm. Normal bed time!

So why is it yesterday I got so much done in the same amount of time that I normally cannot get anything done?

I think the afternoon mini workout really got me going, the energy boost and just the feeling good that I did something, even a small something, to better my health and move myself toward my goals. (Also my quads are so sore right now…I am so proud!)

Part of it was motivation, I wanted so badly for my house to stay pretty and clean and I needed to get all my work clothes cleaned and pressed for the week. (I had no choice I was out of options…) and part of it was just determination. I set myself to the task of getting these things done and I did. However I didn’t fill the time with negative thoughts like “Laundry sucks” or “Brownies are the devil!” I did have a brownie and it was fabulous, but then I had other stuff to do so I didn’t have time to sit there and dwell on the fact that I am trying to lose weight and brownies are not health food. Negative thoughts are not allowed anymore! 

 

 

 

Determination

It’s Monday again.

My weekend was ok….how was yours? 

Today I am trying to focus on setting my goals for the week and trying to relax after my weekend. I am also getting myself excited for the upcoming weekend in which I will be spending the whole time with my husband. For the past three weekends he has either been out of town or we have had company. It will be really nice to just have a weekend together! 

This week’s goals are as follows: 

(1)  Workout- try to find something that I can do easily in the mornings and something fun for evenings

(2)   Food- I am going to sit down tonight to make my plan for the week, healthy options and low stress quick fixes

(3) Start reading one of the books I’ve been meaning to this past month (there is a pile!)

(4) Try to do “me” type stuff- my nails, face mask stuff, girly things in general

(5) Write blog posts and work on my own writing

(6) Try to relax and enjoy my weekend with my husband without any negative thoughts or emotional hang-ups – I resolve to be Happy!!!

 

I am trying an experiment this week to see if I can’t just eat to live and not worry so much about what I am eating, how I am eating, when I am eating….seriously I have too much going on to be so very worried about food! So I am going to focus on the more important things in my life and just try to do my best when it comes to food by planning things ahead of time and not stressing when something doesn’t go quite according to plan. It might be a little tough at first but I am ready to get back in the game and take charge again! 

 

 

Let It Be

 

 

I was having a conversation with my husband last night about how frustrated I am with things lately. Everything I have attempted this week has ended up with a disappointing result. I am so very worn out and tired and usually I am a very bubbly and happy person so this is not a place that I am used to. I do occasionally have some bad days but this has been a week long epidemic…actually I think it has been a month long thing… it is just dragging on and it is wearing thin. 

 

So last night I was telling him that I am tired of this disappointment and I am tired of working hard without the results coming as quickly as I would like (patience is something I lack when it comes to my own self improvement. Everyone else deserves time and praise but me…) I told him, “Why do I even care about this stuff? Why can’t I just be happy?  Why can’t I just be content? WHY CAN’T I JUST BE??!” 

 

“Why can’t you?” He asked in is simple way of making everything seem clear when I’ve been brewing for days. “I love you just the way you are, I think you are beautiful and kind and smart and I am very lucky.” He is always catching me off guard with this stuff and last night is no different. He’s not the mushy type so when he says something like that he means it. Anyhow with his kind words he made me think clearly again. 

 

I am just going to let it be. I am putting my scale away and I am not going to judge everything I do under a microscope. I will work out because it is good for me. I am not going to stress about my weight any longer. That number is not who I am and it is completely arbitrary anyhow. No one cares about that number but me and I am done with it. I am going to eat well because it makes me feel better. I am going to do things that make me a better person in general…not just because a magic number pops up. I will see progress in how my clothes fit and how I feel. The scale is not the end all be all. 

 

I will stop nagging myself to death about how and what I eat. I will eat breakfast and lunch and dinner and NOT skip meals in the hope that I will have a better number. I will track what I eat but I will not worry about sticking to the calorie count more than I worry about my bank account. I will eat things I know are good for me and just let the rest be. 

 

I am going to strive to be happier with myself and stop being such a critic. I would never speak to someone else the way I do to myself and that is not acceptable. I am a good person, a kind person, and I am not my weight or my fat. Those things are just small parts of the person I actually am. 

 

So no scale for the next couple of weeks and we will see how I feel. No skipped meals and no punishing myself with exercise. Exercise is meant to be a benefit…not a punishment. 

 

I will just Let it Be.

The Party Is Over

The Pity party is over…I think I was just having a bad day. 

 

Actually I know what the problem is…I am in a funk about my weight. 

 

I loathe the fact that I gained weight back after the wedding

.

I hate the fact that I am not seeing quick results. 

 

I am more irritated with myself than ever because I know I could do better. 

 

I am not sure what switch to flip to get me going again. I am doing great with the squat challenge and I even get a run or two in. I love Zumba, but I am just doing it off of YouTube which can be really frustrating. Also working these hours lately have been hard on me, I really like my job but working the extra time is cutting into my energy level quite a bit. Plus I sit ALL DAY. Yesterday I made myself do squats and lunges behind my desk for 20 minutes just so I was up and moving. It helped a little. 

 

It’s hard to pull myself out of a funk when I am in one. I suppose I have been in one since the beginning of the month when I had to weigh in for my Biometric testing at work and the number was not what I expected. I’ve gone the range of angry to downright miserable, but enough is enough. 

 

I need to pick myself up and get going again because time is passing whether I do something about it or not…and everyone always tells me they love that I am so upbeat and happy when I am around…I need to start saving a little bit of that happiness for me. 

 

So today is the day, picking myself up and dusting myself off. I’m ready to start taking charge again instead of just falling back and letting life happen to me. I’m going to work harder on this blog and harder on myself. I can do this.

Uninspired and Overwhelmed

Lately I just have been short on blog ideas. I guess I just don’t have too much to say. I am working out when I can…and I am trying to eat better as well. I’ve been logging everything on Myfitnesspal. I’ve been doing the September Squat Challenge…but none of it really seems to be something to write about. 

 

I feel a little lost in the blog world lately. I loved my old blog dearly and I had followers and it was well established…going on three years’ worth of work. I miss the work I put into it…and I was really depressed about losing my blog to the virus and to evil spammers that filled it with muck so I had to close it down completely. 

 

I’m not really sure what type of blogger to be now. I am trying to get healthy but I am also trying to set up my life as a new wife. I am trying to learn to be a better cook, trying to learn to sew and crochet, and trying to figure out just how to balance my life and my new job. 

 

I feel like I am missing the tools to be a really great blogger. 

 

1)      I don’t have a camera, my husband does but it doesn’t work with our dinosaur of a computer. 

 

2)      My phone is an old slider that takes the worst pictures ever and I can email them to myself anyhow. No smart phone for me!

 

3)      I live a pretty quiet life. I don’t go on many wild adventures and when I do I am usually too wrapped up in them to take proper pictures. I do write everything down but I usually forget to post it on the blog in a timely fashion.

 

4)      I have no idea what this blog is going to be. Usually I have an outline of what I am working on. All my stories have nice bullet pointed lists…my blog does not. 

 

5)      I feel bad trying to promote myself. I hate Facebook and really only keep it around for my friends that are overseas. I don’t like going to other blogs and asking people to follow me and I also don’t like to leave generic comments, I usually won’t say anything at all if I can’t think of something that will add to the conversation. I do not Twitter. 

 

6)      I am feeling completely uninspired by my blog right now. 

 

Starting from scratch has proved to be really difficult for me. I have continued to follow other bloggers from their very small beginnings to being complete success stories. I have watched as others have passed me by in becoming amazing writers and amazing people. I feel like I am pretty much the same old me…weight and all. 

 

I don’t mean for this to sound like a pity party…and honestly the only other person besides me reading this will probably be the lovely Holly who has a fantastic blog and family and never fails to make me smile when I read her blog. So I feel pretty bad that I am posting a post like this…but it’s what is on my mind and in my heart right now. I’m not sure if I should continue the blog, or just be a blog reader. 

 

Okay, sad post is now over…I will go off and try to have a better rest of the day….

If you really knew me

So I have seen this little post floating around in the blog world lately and I thought I would give it a go! 

If you really knew me… 

You’d know that I have a nail polish obsession and my toes are always polished

You’d know that I love horses and rode my first one when I was three 

You’d know that I still collect My Little Ponies …and have well over three hundred of them… 

You’d know that I can quote any Disney movie and most likely know all the songs…and I cannot watch them without quoting or singing… 

You’d know I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was eleven….and I have nearly 100 journals that are full…even more that are only half full… 

You’d know that my favorite color is purple and has been forever 

You’d know that I am perfectly happy when left on my own…I am easily entertained 

You’d know I have a weakness for anything TokiDoki 

You’d know that I’m part Hawaiian and yes I can Hula! 

You’d know that I LOVE books and being a librarian is dream job number 2! 

You’d know that the number 12 is very important to me, my birthday is 12/24/84 ---all a variant of 12, there are 12 letters in my married last name, there are 12 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet, I was married on the 12th in 2012! 

You'd know that my husband and I dated for nine years before we got married, we are high school sweethearts

You'd know that there has always been a dog in my house...and there will always be one

You'd know that I am allergic to both carrots and bananas

You'd know that I like to color code everything...even the pins in the pin cushion

You'd know that I can win a game of Disney Trivial Pursuit in one turn

You'd know that I never win in chess against my husband 

 You'd know that my husband is looking over my shoulder and offering his opinion on what I should type

You'd know that my brother has never called me by my name....I'm always "Sister Girl" 

You'd know that I am desperate for a jacuzzi tub to take a bubble bath in

You'd know that I HATE sock monkeys...they are creepy

 You'd know that I'd always say "Screw the wine...pass me the bourbon"

A day in the Life....

 As per usual I am late to the party.....I meant to do this days ago but I have no camera or means of posting pictures and rather thought it would lack something without them.... :( sad to say the pictures never happened but I really wanted to do the post....So here it is...a day in the life of me....(also a picture I actually did have on the ancient computer...one of our engagement photos!!! )

A day in the life:

At 4 am the alarm goes off for B to get up and head to work. This is usually the point in my day where my decision making begins. Get up and get a workout in…or sleep for another hour? Sometimes the workout wins, sometimes sleep wins. This morning was sleep. 

5:30 rolls around and I wake up to the pups wanting to be let outside. I drag myself out of bed and put Brian out on the chain and stand around waiting for Kiya to finish up because I am deadly afraid something will snatch her up if I don’t stand there. She’s only about 6 pounds so I worry, she’s my baby! Brian is a big boy and I pity the critter that tries to take him on. He has “issues” sometimes! 

After the pups are let out and fed and watered it’s time for makeup and clothes. This usually takes only about 15 minutes if I have been good and put out my outfit for the day. Weekday makeup is usually boring except for my eye shadow. I will occasionally go for the muted flesh tone colors but rarely. I prefer purple….or blue and green. I like the little bit of bright color, especially to go with the purple contacts I wear.

After getting ready and gathering everything I need, lunch, purse, etc…I gather up the dogs and head out of the house. 

I drop the pups off at my parents’ house. They live in the country and it means Brian gets to spend the day outside and Kiya gets to spend the day with my mom’s little dogs in the house. It’s my own puppy daycare! I stand around and talk with my parents for a bit and then head to work. 

I work for a school district so I really can’t say too much about my job. I like it a lot but it can be stressful and by the time I have pulled a nine to ten hour shift I am beat. 

Flash to 5pm, time to stop by and pick up the pups and visit with my parents for a moment before heading back home. I am tired but I try to come home and get in a workout. My sweet husband takes care of dinner most nights and I clean up and try to get some writing or reading done for the day. 

Around 9pm I am usually half asleep on the couch and B tells me I should head for bed. I have no idea how he makes it that long since he is the one getting up at 4! By 10pm it is lights out and I have either an audio book going or a disc of “Friends” reruns. Some sort of noise to help me sleep, it’s a habit I picked up in college when I moved from the country and into town. I can sleep to frogs and crickets..but not to the sounds of the town. But once I’m out…I’m out! Then amazing two seconds later it is 4am and we get to start the whole thing over again!  

Thursday Tunes

Happy Thursday!

I am so glad that tomorrow is Friday and that this upcoming weekend is a long one. I tell you the beginning of a school year is rough! I am exhausted and very very tired of getting ridiculous phone calls from crazy people!

That being said I was definitely ready for some stress relief after work today. So on the treadmill I went and slipped on the headphones and let the world go.

I have to say I am not speedy. In fact I am what most runners would consider damn slow, but after two days of pretty consistent 5mph runs I was sore and admittedly tired, so today was a mix of 6mph, 4mph, and finally 3mph, however I kept going and I figured 45 minutes at a slow pace still beats sitting on the couch for 45 minutes so whatever. I got my butt moving and kept going even though it was hurting (not severe pain, just the uncomfortable stitch in the side) I made it through my time and earned my wonderful shower afterward.

My music was part of what kept me going today. I have a playlist that I am really loving right now. Each time I thought, "Oh that's enough for today" a great song would come on and I would tell myself I couldn't skip it, I had to keep going through just this one song, by the time it was over another song came on that I had to listen to and so on.

Here's a Sampling of my mixed up and wacky playlist (I have strange taste I warn you!)

All My Loving - Across the Universe Soundtrack
Buttons- Pussycat Dolls
The Cave- Mumford and Songs---LOVE them
Just Dance- Lady GaGa
Love Song- Selena Gomez-- Silly and fun and great to run to
Never Again- Kelly Clarkson--I belt this one out....
No Handlebars- Flobots
A Postcard to Henry Purcell- Pride and Prejudice Soundtrack---Fantastic Instrumental for clearing the mind
Rock Me Mama- Old Crowe Medicine Show
Teen Titans Theme Song--I love any song that sounds like a cheer.....also I am quite possibly a four year old...
Secrets- One Republic
Sexy and I know it- LMFAO---Do a catwalk when listening to this on the treadmill....it will make you feel like a rockstar
Twist It- Blues Brothers Soundtrack---Love this song...it was my Father/Daughter Dance!
Monster High Theme Song---Again I love a cheer....and all things Monster High
Hell On Heels- Pistol Annies---Another one I belt out, is also the song I listen to on repeat while working on my book currently
Back In Time- Pitbull
Hey baby- Pitbull
Good Time- Owl city 

I realize I have an odd playlist but this is what keeps me going, and all that matters is that you just keep movin'!