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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Wednesday Blog Hop~ The FF

Good Morning Everyone,


It's Wednesday and that means blog hop day!


The Hump Day Blog Hop


To all you old hands at this welcome back and to those that are just joining us welcome!


I was a good girl today and clicked through a lot of the blogs in the hop and started following some more and plan to follow even more of you but if I plan on getting this post up I need to stop reading and start writing. Kyra is happily sitting in her high chair eating a piece of string cheese so I have like....five minutes to get this post up and running before she is ready to go again.


So today I'm gonna talk about something uncomfortable.

Being the Fat Friend (FF).

This is not a topic I like to talk about. Actually it is something I hate talking about. Yet somehow it is the topic I find comes up in my mind almost every few moments and thus ends up being something that I write about a lot.

I've been the fat friend for I have no idea how long....maybe always.

Don't pretend you don't know what the fat friend is. All girls do and guys are very aware. In fact guys now call the fat friend the "grenade" I believe that they jump on so their buddy can get the "hot" friend. Thanks for that one....as if we didn't feel bad enough....

Anyhow being the fat friend usually goes something like this.....

Skinny friend: I wanna go out! Let's go to the bar/club and hang out! Meet me at my place at 8!

FF: Um....okay.....I don't really have anything to wear....

Skinny friend: Oh come on! Just put on anything! You look fine!

FF: *sigh* Yeah....

FF arrives at SF's house where an entire flock of them are putting on makeup and slipping into dresses impossibly short and slinky. FF has the nicest top that does not hug anything it is not supposed to and jeans. Self esteem rapidly decreasing as the others look hot and are already half tipsy and giggling. FF smiles and tries to join in or they will ask her what is wrong and she would rather die than admit to it. However in that moment she could not feel more horrible or awful. Why can't I look like these girls? What is wrong with me.....don't I have any self control? If I just worked harder I wouldn't have to go through this every single time....


This same thing happens while shopping. Skinny Friend/s are picking out everything that is cute in the store and having no trouble getting into the outfits. They are actually complaining about having TOO MANY choices. While Fat Friend is over on the sidelines with the choice of looking like either a leopard or a zebra, because the fashion industry for some reason thinks that if you put animal print on a fat girl she will blend into the background....or worse case scenario they want to mark you as an animal and not worth human notice....that might be a little cynical though.

The point is I've been through these types of scenarios my whole life. I've cried in bathrooms and changing stalls. I've watched my friends get hit on and been ignored. (though happily I've been with my high school sweetheart all these years so that didn't sting as badly) I have wished so badly to be able to wear the cute clothes and just feel....normal.

So why is this coming up now? Well there is a vacation in my future and I'm not going to be the Fat Friend anymore. I just refuse to be. I have a few months before we go and that is enough time to really work hard and get myself in gear, because I do not want another event where I am unable to enjoy myself because of my weight.

It's going to be hard, and it is going to be a struggle. Also I'm going to need some real support....because I know it's going to be rough going for a bit...but I can do it. I've done it before....I'll do it again.


Big hugs to all that read this and I hope that you might consider following me on my journey.

~Kimmy 

1 comment:

  1. This makes me sad :( I hate that you or anyone has to feel like they are "less than" just b/c of the way they look. I'm sending a high five your way for steppin up and makin the changes you want. Juts make sure you're doin it for you and not to fit some ridiculous stereotype of who you think you should be. It sounds like you've got the right mentality though :)

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