Thursday Tunes

Happy Thursday!

I am so glad that tomorrow is Friday and that this upcoming weekend is a long one. I tell you the beginning of a school year is rough! I am exhausted and very very tired of getting ridiculous phone calls from crazy people!

That being said I was definitely ready for some stress relief after work today. So on the treadmill I went and slipped on the headphones and let the world go.

I have to say I am not speedy. In fact I am what most runners would consider damn slow, but after two days of pretty consistent 5mph runs I was sore and admittedly tired, so today was a mix of 6mph, 4mph, and finally 3mph, however I kept going and I figured 45 minutes at a slow pace still beats sitting on the couch for 45 minutes so whatever. I got my butt moving and kept going even though it was hurting (not severe pain, just the uncomfortable stitch in the side) I made it through my time and earned my wonderful shower afterward.

My music was part of what kept me going today. I have a playlist that I am really loving right now. Each time I thought, "Oh that's enough for today" a great song would come on and I would tell myself I couldn't skip it, I had to keep going through just this one song, by the time it was over another song came on that I had to listen to and so on.

Here's a Sampling of my mixed up and wacky playlist (I have strange taste I warn you!)

All My Loving - Across the Universe Soundtrack
Buttons- Pussycat Dolls
The Cave- Mumford and Songs---LOVE them
Just Dance- Lady GaGa
Love Song- Selena Gomez-- Silly and fun and great to run to
Never Again- Kelly Clarkson--I belt this one out....
No Handlebars- Flobots
A Postcard to Henry Purcell- Pride and Prejudice Soundtrack---Fantastic Instrumental for clearing the mind
Rock Me Mama- Old Crowe Medicine Show
Teen Titans Theme Song--I love any song that sounds like a cheer.....also I am quite possibly a four year old...
Secrets- One Republic
Sexy and I know it- LMFAO---Do a catwalk when listening to this on the treadmill....it will make you feel like a rockstar
Twist It- Blues Brothers Soundtrack---Love this song...it was my Father/Daughter Dance!
Monster High Theme Song---Again I love a cheer....and all things Monster High
Hell On Heels- Pistol Annies---Another one I belt out, is also the song I listen to on repeat while working on my book currently
Back In Time- Pitbull
Hey baby- Pitbull
Good Time- Owl city 

I realize I have an odd playlist but this is what keeps me going, and all that matters is that you just keep movin'!

What do you Really Want-Wednesdays

" Tell me what you want what you really really want....."

"I'll tell you what I want what I really really want!"

Oh Spice Girls....how you take me back to Seventh grade and the days when summer seemed endless....

 Anyhow....

Wednesdays are going to be devoted to posting what it is I want and what I am working for! Feel free to share what you want and what goals you are working toward!!!

Short Term: To lose the post wedding weight (ten pounds)

Long Term: To get to my goal weight of 145


These are just the starting points, there are a lot more things I am working toward but these are the big ones and I thought they would be a good place to start!

What do you Really want?

Tough Love Tuesday

(Image from Pinterest) 

Run: Completed!!!

Tough Love Tuesdays- Facing this beast head on, Tough love Tuesdays are to remind me why I am doing this....No Excuses!!!

My Own Strength

Last night I got a sample of my own inner strength.

I was having an off night. Nothing seemed to make me feel satisfied or happy. I felt weird and moody. Most likely just the mid week blues.

I just knew it was going to ruin all the progress that I had made so far this week.

But it didn't.

I made my dinner and there was a grilled cheese included because I had really wanted one. It was divine. I wanted another. I told myself no.

I sat there irritated. I had made myself sit and eat at the table. No distractions or TV or computer. I wanted another sandwich. Still I said no. I asked myself if I was really hungry or if I was just irritated and slightly bored? I decided it was the latter and moved away from the table to go about my business for the evening.

Ten minutes later I felt full and content, even without that extra sandwich.

If I would have kept eating I would have wanted another sandwich and possibly another. Slippery slope sort of thing.

Then about an hour later, I started to fill irritable again. I wanted to eat just to have something to do, some sort of instant gratification thing.

But I didn't. I got out my journal and wrote down my feelings, I vented and unleashed every little thing that was bothering me. Some things I wasn't even aware were an issue until the pen was in my hand. I filled three pages before I finally felt like the poison was gone.

So I shut the book and curled up with my husband to watch a movie.

Then we went to bed, and I was so happy. I was so relieved. I made it. I felt my way through the muck and came out just fine and my body didn't take the hit for my emotional mess.

I am so proud.

I can do this.

“You can do anything, but not everything"

I am feeling like myself once again, a weekend of journaling and rest really helped a lot. Hopefully there won’t be any more posts like the other day for a while.

I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. I am one of those “if you want something done right do it yourself” type people. So much in fact that I usually become completely overwhelmed and put myself into a paralyzed “what do I do?!” state. Here’s a sample of my journal from a few days ago:

“I really need to clean the house again; nothing is in the right place. I still need to workout though and get a meal plan in place. He wants to spend the day out today and I have no idea where I want to go. I never know where to go. I hate going out when I feel so huge. Nothing fits right anymore. I really should just go workout right now, or maybe do the dishes since the stupid dishwasher sucks, but I’m already exhausted from my ten hour day and he wants to spend time together. If we are going out I really should be getting ready and trying to look nicer for him. I cannot turn into a frumpy wife.” 

See what I mean? I am crazy. 

The fact is I have to stop doing this to myself. I need to pick one thing and stick with it and stop feeling bad about the other things. I need to start prioritizing my goals. Some things are okay to put off and some are not. Some things just need to be scheduled so that they fit my lifestyle so my lovely husband already knows that that particular time is meant for working out. Then he won’t feel left out or ignored and he can actually plan something he wants to do.

Also…and I hate to admit this…but sometimes it is okay to ask him to help out. Yes I want to be the super wife, but I know my guy won’t mind at all if I ask him to help me. I just never do because I want to show him that I am awesome and can handle it…hah!

Also I found this on Pinterest and about died…it’s the truth! 

Running....My Mouth....

So lately everyone has been running.

My blog reader is full of those that are running, either marathons, half marathons, doing the C25K....

Even The Pioneer Woman is out there running in the summer heat.

I've been running too.

Running my mouth.

I keep saying things like..."I really want to do this this time." "I really wanted to be down ten pounds by now" "I am going to lose weight and take boudoir shots for the husband..."

I'm saying a lot....but not really doing much. My last post was a bit self indulgent in that I am feeling like crap...however I have yet to really take steps to change it. I have made some small things....I've planned my meals and eaten well during my breakfast and lunch. Dinner is still an issue that I am working on.

Workouts are the problem.

They are not happening.

Some of it is the stress of the beginning of school and the busy season of work.

Some of it is simply being tired from my allergies.

Most of it however...most of it is just this funk that I am in. I want to continue with Insanity. Part of me wants to start up C25K again because I feel like maybe the reason I am struggling with Insanity is that I am not ready for that intense of a workout. Then I feel like I am weak for not sticking the the plan.

It all feels like a lot of talk and not enough action. Of course now I am blogging about it which of course is really just more talking.

So here is my promise to me:

1) I will finish Insanity-maybe not in the allotted sixty days but I will finish.

2) I will continue to plan my meals and try to work on healthier dinners.

3) I will wear my corset for at least an hour each night. ( I love corsets and they really do help train your waist!)

4) I will try to remember all the positive reasons I want to lose weight and stop focusing on all the negative ones. I will get there and calling myself a fat cow is not helping me get there any faster.

Now enough talk....it's time to get to work.

Confessions

So I had a whole blog post ready to go today.

I was all ready to talk about some workout stuff and the post is actually pretty funny and upbeat....but it kind of felt like a lie today.

Honestly, I feel like I am struggling. Food feels like the enemy and exercise has been really difficult with the increased hours at work due to school starting tomorrow.

I have been trying to keep up with Insanity but I confess the past week has not happened.

I have been trying to plan my meals but I definitely ate 8 Biscoff cookies instead of lunch today. Oh and some grapes.

I have weighed myself this week and I LOATHE everything about me because of it.

I have been picking apart my flaws all day.

I had to take a picture for work today and it almost made me cry. My pictures from just three months ago are so beautiful and in three months I have ruined a year's worth of work. Hell in two months. My new driver's license looks fantastic and I got it after the honeymoon....granted I was all glowy with a tan and honeymoon bliss but still....

I feel like a wreck and I am trying to be honest and just clear the thoughts in my head. I just want to have a breakthrough moment. I want to finally find that inner spark inside me and get my ass in gear...I realize that most likely...like all good things....I am just going to have to do it.

Still....it would be really nice if something would FINALLY click. 

In Which I Ramble A Bit....

It would figure I would want to start blogging again when I am at the busiest season at the new job. However I am still going to give it the old college try and get a few posts up a week until I can post every day which is what I would prefer. So for now just don’t expect too much from this little blog until after the month of August is over. 

 

That being said, here is a rundown of what is going on in my little world. 

 

New Food Goals- I am going to try journaling my food, not just writing down what I ate and how many calories but actually writing down how full I felt and if I was hungry shortly after, also my energy level after eating. I think  this might help me get to the new weight loss goal of minus 10 pounds before September or at least two inches of the waistline (whichever comes first). 

 

Organize and Purge- I am in the middle of going through the spare bedroom and purging items (which sounds easy but isn’t) and organizing the room to make it more effective. The poor room has been a catch all since the wedding, holding gifts that were still in packages, old clothes that I “purged” from our master closet, and all the random wedding stuff that was left over (extra invitations, programs, decorations, etc.)  We bought some of the Space Bags for the linens that I keep for company and for the clothes that I cannot part with/ will be wearing next spring and early summer but not this winter. It is helping to cut down on some wasted space but I still have too much stuff….I am going to have to let things go….I will hopefully have a before and after shot for you all to enjoy though!  (I have the before…I just hope the “after” actually looks like and “after”) 

 

Fall Goals and Christmas Shopping- I am currently working on a list of things I want to do this fall, fun things as well as necessary things, which will be a post on its own. Also I am making my Christmas list for everyone and working on getting it done early (as I usually do) and catching things on sale or else just being on the lookout for things before the madness of the holiday season. 

 

These Silly Characters are Kiya (top) and Brian (bottom) my two adorable pups, that just love to pose for the ipad since I don't have a proper camera....They are keeping a close watch on all the activity of cleaning out the spare bedroom. Kiya in particular looks very interested there on her pillow doesn't she??

 

Then there has been the recent new invasion of these that have been entering my house…..

 

But that is a whole other story for a whole other blog post......